For the third straight year, the Wizards had the fortune of facing LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers in the first round of the playoffs. Absent pretty much everyone last season, the Cav’s sweep of the Wiz in the first round was essentially a given. This year, with the recent return of Hibachi Arenas, the Wizards felt like they had a swagger that they could take into the series. To take it further, Wizards guard DeShaun Stephenson kicked the sleeping dragon and called LeBron “overrated.”

DeShaun, let me break something off for you. Overrated is a guy who scores 11 points a game and gets 3 assists a game challenging a guy who is bigger, stronger, faster, and scores 30 points, 9 rebounds, and 8 assists a game. Overrated is the 15 points you’ve scored in the two losses in Cleveland while LeBron has gone for 30 and 32 respectively. Overrated is that shitty growth you have on your chin after making a stupid agreement with Drew Gooden to grow out shaggy beards. Overrated is your entire Wizards team that is once again in a 2-0 hole because you decided to call out arguably the best player in the NBA.

I should also mention that Brendan Haywood is a punk and a bitch. That flagrant, though it looked worse than it probably was because LeBron was off-balance, was unwarranted and uncalled for. I get that Washington is trying to send a message that they’re going to play physical. I get that they want to rough up LeBron in the series. There’s other ways to do it, Brendan. My suggestion is that you take that double flagrant, take your 10 points and 7 assists, take all that smack talk you and your boys were running to the King before the series started, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass.

Id like to preface this article by saying that Gilbert Arenas’ challenging of the Portland Trail Blazers because head coach Nate McMillian left him off the US national team is pure brilliance. Knowing that someone like Arenas is going to play his ass off and make it a personal issue to beat one team because of a coach is enough to captivate many more people than this game would have normally. Be honest with yourself, you probably wouldn’t take free tickets to a Trail Blazers game.

Arenas got shut down today. He said he was going to put up 50 on Portland…try 9. Arenas had one of his worst shooting performances of the season, going just 3-15 from the floor including a terrific 0-8 from three point range and failed to get double digit points for just the second time this season. What kind of lesson can be learned from this? Don’t, as I call it, Guaran-sheed victories. This word comes from one of the greatest mouths to ever play basketball, Rasheed Wallace. Can you count on your hand how many times ‘Sheed has guaranteed victory? Not unless you have a mutant hand. Arenas is just another case of a pro athlete guaranteeing something, whether it be victory or a mind blowing 50 points, and simply not coming through with it. Play your own game Gilbert, and let your insane amount of skill speak for you. And as long as we’re on the topic of guarantees, I guarantee I will never be caught dead in those candy wrapper Wizards jerseys. Did someone lose a bet over those things or did they let Gilbert get ahold of the design. I bet he guaranteed he could create the worst looking jersey possible. At least you followed through with something Agent Zero.

Over the next month until opening night on October 31, I’ll be previewing one NBA team a day. Starting in the Eastern Conference, I’ll be starting with my lowest ranked team and continuing to the best, then switching conferences. Enjoy.

Wizards Need More Size to be Title Contenders

Ten years ago, the Wizards were in a lot worse shape than they are now. There name had just switched to the Wizards from the Bullets because of “violent overtones” created by the name Bullets. However, they switched to a team name that also drew controversy: Wizards, which is a high ranking in the KKK. But like all bad names, fans come to accept them and they become second nature before too long. And unlike the early Wizard years, this team has actually strung together two straight playoff berths behind a trio of great scorers.

Overview

The Wizards will make the playoffs for the following reasons: Gilbert Arenas, Antawn Jamison, and Caron Butler. They averaged a combined 67 points a game last year, the league’s highest scoring trio. They also hail from three of the biggest powerhouses in college basketball: Arizona, North Carolina, and Connecticut. Just something worth mentioning. The Wizards added another shooter in DeShawn Stevenson in the offseason, making them loaded with offensive players, if not an inside presence. Someone has to step up inside for the Wiz(inator). The team has no real strength inside so they signed Darius Songaila, hoping he is an upgrade over the human bowling ball Brendan Haywood. Read the rest of this entry »