All Hands on Deck for More Losing! The Pittsburgh Pirates have a couple of things going for them. For starters, they play in a beautiful ballpark and are a franchise rich in history and glory. They also have a badass team name, which opens up tons of opportunities for Pirate puns throughout this preview. But that’s where the fun ends for the Buccos, who haven’t exceeded 75 wins in this millennium. Despite new ownership and management, this season shouldn’t be much different.

Bats. If I wanted to assemble a lineup, I would probably take the skeleton crew of The Black Pearl before this bunch of misfits. Once a franchise loaded with superstars like Barry Bonds and Andy Van Slyke, the modern-day Pirates have few players that generate much excitement. For no reason whatsoever, outfielder Jason Bay went from a rising star to a huge disappointment. After consecutive trips to the All Star Game, Bay’s batting average fell nearly 40 points to a meager .247. His power numbers also fell (35 and 109 in ‘06 to 21 and 84) randomly. At 29 years old, Bay is supposed to be entering his prime. But last year’s fall makes zero sense to anyone interested in Pirates baseball (all six of you). Outside of Bay, the closest thing this lineup has to a star is infielder Freddy Sanchez, who followed up his ‘06 batting crown with another strong season. Sanchez didn’t come close to his .344 average from that season, but he still finished a respectable .304 with a career high 11 homers and 81 RBIs.

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