Tank Johnson just can’t seem to stay out of the way of himself lately. Johnson was pulled over by police early Friday when he was doing 40 in a 25 mph zone. Police took Johnson into custody under suspicion that he was driving under the influence. The test results for the blood test have yet to be announced.

For the sake of Tank, I hope that he wasn’t hammered when he was pulled over. Here’s a guy who just got out of the slammer on gun charges, ate his share of food while there, and is now facing an eight game suspension for the upcoming season. That suspension could be reduced to six games if Tank acts appropriately during his suspension. Getting pulled over in the early morning while buzzed or hammered probably isn’t going to help reduce the suspension, Boss.

The NFL needs to sit Tank and Pacman together in a room and have a serious heart to heart with the two. Is there something they just don’t understand about being in the public eye? Why is it so hard to be home at a reasonable time and not drive after sipping the fire water? Don’t these guys have enough money to pay people to drive for them?

Until the police department releases the test on his blood alcohol level, we won’t know if he was drunk or not. My guess would be that he was under the influence, but that’s just me having a hunch. It’s easy to do when this kind of stuff happens to NFL players once every other day.

Tank Johnson finds himself as the third victim of the new crackdown by new NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. After serving a two month jail sentence, that involved piling up an interesting bill, Johnson was suspended for eight games. The good news for Tank, besides the fact that he can get candy easier now that he’s out of the slammer, is that he can get his suspension down to six games.

If Johnson could find a way to whittle down his suspension to just six games, then he would be out one game for every unregistered firearm that was in his house. If that isn’t poetic justice, then I don’t know what is. It appears as if Johnson really does want to turn things around though, as he says that he wants to earn the NFL man of the year honors at some point down the road. For some reason, I don’t see that happening, try as hard as he might. Once you get that bad boy reputation, it’s going to stick with you for as long as you are in the league, just ask Ron Artest that. Some people may be upset that Pacman Jones, who was only supposedly involved in a shooting, gets a full year suspension while Johnson, who did jail time, gets away with eight, or six if he’s lucky, games. Whatever side you fall on, it’s apparent that Roger Goodell isn’t taking this commissioner job lightly.

Johnson may have a hard time getting back in with the Bears, he was suspended for one game last season after a night club incident in which his body guard was shot, and this will only increase the distrust the team has. I think that Johnson will find himself out of shape once his suspension is over, and the Bears will certainly need to find a replacement for him, and as such, he will have a hard time getting his job back. It will be interesting to see how things play out for Tank.

If you’re like me and you’ve never been to jail before, it’s easy to wonder what kind of food rations one gets while in the slammer. Apparently they don’t give you enough food, at least not if your name is Tank Johnson. In the 60 days Tank was in the big house, he spent an estimated $700 dollars on assorted junk food. Now I see where the nickname comes from.

I’m sure I don’t need to do the math for you on this one, because that’s an awful lot of money to be throwing around on food on top of the daily three meals. While some inmates are trying to score dope, Tank is looking to score some sour ropes. Some inmates build home made shanks, Tank builds licorice straws. Some inmates pop pills, Tank pops Skittles. I don’t think I need to go any further and I’m sure you get the picture.

Why wasn’t Tank getting in shape? Shouldn’t he have been doing weight dips instead of eating Fun Dip? Apparently he’s not only breaking people off with his arsenal of weapons but also with Slim Jims. While most visitors to inmates sneak contraband in home made cakes, the only thing Tank is sneaking is some creme frosting. Way to be on top of your game, Tank.

While reports say that Tank may actually start this year for the Bears, it appears to me that he’s adopted a new lifestyle. He’s no longer hanging with the homies that got him in trouble, and instead Tank is kicking it at his crib with Willy Wonka and Alexander the Grape. Good luck with that new lifestyle, Candy Man.

A judge has granted permission for Tank Johnson to leave the state of Illinois as he awaits trial. This means that Tank will be able to join the rest of the Bears as they go for the Super Bowl title. No doubt this is great news for all bears fans, as it greatly helps their teams chances.

Tank had been under house arrest since being arrested in December. That arrest was a violation of his probation from a separate 2005 gun charge. What does all this mean? Expect Tank to be packing heat in Miami.

How short of a leash do we expect Tank to be on? Is there going to be a coach with him at all times? If I were involved in the Bears organization that is exactly what would happen. There would be security guards sitting outside of his door at all hours and he would be rooming with a coach. Why? Because I just don’t trust the guy. He reinforced that mistrust when he went to a night club two days after being arrested and got his bodyguard shot.

Tank is simply not trustworthy, and we have seen what can happen at the Super Bowl. Just ask Eugene Robinson about that. After winning the award for “High Moral Character” he got owned trying to hire a prostitute. Ray Lewis was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and his name was involved with the murder of a two people at an Atlanta night club.

The Super Bowl is just another great place for Tank to get himself in trouble. He needs to watch himself, especially since he was granted this release by a judge. But based off of his track record, that sounds easier said than done.

There’s a lot of guys that I wouldn’t want to meet in an alley near Soldier Field. I had assumed Brian Urlacher would top that list but even he’s no competition for Tank Johnson. Johnson was arrested for the 3rd time in 18 months on misdemeanor weapons charges. To put it simply, Tank was packing some serious, serious heat. The guns seized from Johnson’s house include:

• AR-15 Assault Rifle
• .223 Caliber Assault Rifle
• .44 Magnum
• .50 Caliber Handgun
• .45 Caliber Handgun
• .308 Winchester Hunting Rifle (Just in case a deer appears at the shootout)

Tank is cooperating with authorities in the murder investigation of his close friend, Willie Posey. Posey was shot and killed in a Chiago bar. Johnson was at the scene but there’s nothing that links Johnson to those events. But Johnson’s sketchy resume doesn’t give me much confidence. Posey was Johnson’s friend and bodyguard who was arrested Thursday on felony cannabis possession.

One of the strangest elements to this story is Johnson’s release from prison. He was released after posting just 10% of his $1,000 bond, which, by my estimation, is $100. How in the hell can a guy that owns six guns (all illegally) get out of prison with a single C-Note? Maybe the cops are Bears fans but that still doesn’t make sense because Tank is inactive for tomorrow’s game against Tampa Bay.

This should be an interesting sequence of events.