If you’ve ever visited Hawaii, you may know the Hawaiians love their spam as much as they love waves and beaches. Shane Victorino, the only Hawaiian in Major League Baseball (by my estimation), is no exception. Known as the “Flyin Hawaiian,” Victorino has publicly endorsed his love for spam, something that the folks at PETA are not a fan of. Today, they released a statement directed at the outfielder.

“We suspect that the cruelty in every can of Spam will infuriate Shane more than a high Hiroki Kuroda fastball,” says Shannon. “If Shane likes Spam a lot, he should buy tickets to the Broadway play but leave it off his dinner plate.”

While I chuckled at the first part of PETA assistant director Dan Shannon’s statement, I have zero idea what he’s talking about with the second part. Spam is a play? PETA has hated Spam for a long time because of the atrocities (if you want to be depressed, you can read them here) that take place at the hands of Hormel, the assholes responsible for Spam. If Peta is going to call out Victorino, they might as well call out the fatties on Hawaii’s offensive line that probably bathe in the juice. 

Calling out Victorino comes as a surprise because PETA actually has a strong relationship with the Phillies, naming Citizens Bank Park the best vegetarian park in baseball for two years running. We’ll see if these criticisms do any damage to Victorino’s psyche tonight. If PETA wants to complain about Shane Victorino, they should probably complain about Jonathan Broxton too, who has probably endangered three species of pig by himself.