In this episode we take a look at one of the most dismal divisions in professional football.  We talk about the NFC West and honestly wonder whether any of these teams are capable of finishing with a record over .500. I also wonder how we managed to get this one to 30 minutes long.  We apologize for the length, and will try to keep them shorter in the future.

Hosts: Kevin, Rich, Ryan, Sonny

 

 NFC West [30:11m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

This video is a few years old (notice coach Jim Zorn has moved on to the Redskins and Shaun Alexander is no longer a Seahawk) and came from one of Kenny Mayne’s segments on NFL Live.  Despite it’s age, it’s incredibly funny and is worth revisiting.  Best part of the video: the two wide receivers going at each other with fun noodles.

Yesterday’s game between the Seahawks and the Packers had more to it than a spanking and Brett Favre slinging snowballs. Granted it was amazing to watch Favre and the Packers surgically dissect the Seattle defense after spotting the Seahawks 14 points in the first five minutes of the game. What might have been worse than the performance of the Seahawks defense was the banter that was going on between Tony “Goose” Siragusa and Darryl “Moose” Johnston in the booth. In between points where Siragusa’s fat ass was weighing down the snowplow and Johnston talking about why Ryan Grant should have been a fullback instead of a running back was the slinging of nicknames between the two that got to a point of confusion.

“How loud is it down there Goose?”
”I can hardly hear you up there Moose it’s deafening.”
”Sounds like it Goose.”
*Sound of Tony Siragusa eating the microphone*

I’ve had my issues with Fox in the past about that stupid robot that dances around on their screen after commercial breaks or the Star Wars sound effects they use when a team scores, but this had to take the cake. It got to the point where I sacrificed Kenny Albert’s wisdom and the volume on the television so I didn’t have to listen to Goose and Moose talk about snow and other pointless rambling.

Outside of the announcer’s nonsense, you have to tip your cap to Brett Favre. Be assured that every media faction in the country is going to jerk it to that pitch he made to Donald Lee in the second quarter and the notion that he’s acting like a kid on the field even though he’s 38. We get it. I suppose I should just be thankful that John Madden wasn’t announcing the game.

Matt Hasselbeck really wants to win this Saturday. No, he really wants to beat the Redskins on Saturday. To help his cause, he’s called upon the services of neglecting a razor and letting a hideous amazing mustache grow.

We haven’t seen this kind of mustache in some time. It likens me back to the days when Sid Bream was winning gold gloves and seemed to be possessed by his mustache. In the NFL, I think of the wonder that was Jeff Hostetler when he was slingin’ the pigskin wit the Raiders and Giants. It’s debatable as to whether or not Hasselbeck is a better quarterback than his counterpart Hostetler, but what isn’t disputable is the ridiculousness of their nose brooms.

The irony in this comes from the fact that Hasselbeck is bald. Perhaps he’s using this as a distraction for Redskins defenders? Clearly it’s not just there to keep his upper lip warm for the winter months. All I know is come Saturday, I’m going to be paying more attention to Hasselbeck’s sleezbag mustache than I will the actual game. Nice, Matt. Nice.

With Rich breaking down the AFC playoff teams earlier today, I thought it’d be fitting to discuss that other conference, the NFC.

1. Dallas Cowboys. I was a little more settled on this team a few weeks ago than I am right now. Since that win over the Packers on Thursday Night to all but clinch the top seed in the NFC, the ‘Boys have lost two of their last four and have done little to solidify their spot as the NFC’s elite team. Tony Romo has a quarterback rating of just 70 since that win over the Packers. Getting Terry Glenn back should help, but for the Cowboys to land in Glendale, they’re going to need Romo to return to midseason form.

2. Green Bay Packers. For all of Brett Favre’s accomplishments, he had never improved the Packers five games from one season to the next. The NFL’s biggest surprise will come into postseason play at 13-3. Make no mistake, this team is no fluke. The Packers are loaded with weapons on both sides of the ball. We know about Favre and his great wide receivers. But Ryan Grant, a former Notre Dame standout, may be their biggest revelation yet. Grant gives the Packers a legitimate running game, something you need to win in January. Combine Favre’s crew with one of the league’s best defenses and you have a shot against anyone. That includes you, Dallas.

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Hosts: Sonny, Ryan, and Rich. In this episode, the entire Sportable staff discusses the NFC West. We debated the arrival of Ken Whisenhunt in Arizona, as well as the impact Norv Turner’s departure will have on Alex Smith’s development. Can the Rams return to the playoffs behind their dynamic offense? Or will the Seahawks use Qwest Field as a pedestal to another division crown?

You can find Episode 29 here. (Download mp3)