Growing up, I vaguely remember the days of Lou Holtz roaming the sidelines in South Bend with the Rick Mirer-led Fightin’ Irish.  He’s one of the greatest coaches college football has ever seen.  However, after retirement, Holtz took the “right” that every athlete/coach has and made his way to Bristol, Connecticut to blow hot air on ESPN’s various preview shows.  As most of you know, Holtz is up there in age.  No, he’s to the point where he’s downright senile.  Holtz took a slap in the face from his old program last year after predicting they’d win 11 games when they ended up only winning 3.  Well guess what, he’s back on the bike.  Lou Holtz has predicted that Notre Dame is going to win 11 games again this year.  But, lets be rational about this.  According to him, “they won’t be one of the best teams in the country, but they’ll win 11 games.”  Pardon me if I’m a little bit confused here, Lou, but doesn’t going 11-1 immediately make you one of the best teams in the nation?  And let’s not overlook Holtz calling USC the most vulnerable team in the land, contradicting his colleague Mark May who aptly pointed out that all of SC’s difficult games are at the Coliseum.  Good insight, Lou.

I think my frustration with the old bag came to a point yesterday during ESPN’s new “fantastic” segment, Dr. Lou.  If you’ve been blessed enough to not see it, let me give you a brief synopsis of the segment.  ESPN forces a popular athlete/coach in college football to stage a phone call in to Lou Holtz asking for advice on something and Holtz, completely unqualified to give any advice (even on how to cook scrambled eggs), responds with mindless banter that doesn’t entirely make sense but makes the ESPN producers nod their heads (which i assume is good enough to waste fifteen minutes of air time).  Anyways, yesterday they had Tim Tebow “call in” to Dr. Lou asking how he can win another Heisman.  Here’s a hint, Tim.  Don’t listen to the senile bastard who thinks Notre Dame can win 11 games this year. Slam the occasional co-ed, don’t miss practice, and keep doing more of that 20 rushing td’s and 20 passing td’s stuff.

After Tebow, Lloyd Carr called in asking about how to improve his golf game.  Once again, why are you calling the old bastard who probably hasn’t picked up a club since wooden heads on drivers were actually fashionable.  Holtz can’t even tie his shoes, how do you expect him to correct your draw?  Not to mention, even if he’s a doctor in something (which I already highly doubt), it assuredly isn’t on the mechanics of the golf swing.  So instead of calling Dr. Lou, go to the driving range and continue to marinade in that beat down you took at the Big House to Appalachian State.