Do not, and I repeat, do not try and tackle Brandon Jacobs above the waist.  Laron Landry tried it last night and it ended with the first massive hit of the 2008 season.  What’s that, Laron?  You want some forearm pie?  Boom. Enjoy the lick for what it is.

In this episode we begin to preview each division of the NFL.  We started with arguably the strongest in the entire league, and the one home to the defending Super Bowl Champions, the NFC East.  Stay tuned over the next few days as we do a rundown of every division in the NFL.

Hosts: Kevin, Rich, and Ryan

 

 NFC East Preview [20:39m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Get ready for it; here come the millions and millions of rationalizations as to why the Giants won’t repeat as Super Bowl contenders.  I’m talking about things like “Well, our division was the strongest in the NFL so…” or “Losing Osi Umenyiora cost us, big time.”  What about the idea that the Giants just weren’t that good of a team anyways?  I can’t take away the fact that they won the Super Bowl because that’s pretty relevant but lets also not forget that this team backed into the playoffs and had nobody outside of the Meadowlands excited about their prospective Super Bowl chances until they actually flew into Arizona to play the Patriots.

Losing defensive end Osi Umenyiora for the year is a big blow to the Giants; losing a guy who had 13 sacks will have a big impact on any team.  But was this team even a playoff caliber team with Umenyiora in the lineup considering what they’ve lost this off-season and the strength of every other team in the division?  The Giants defense lost its leader in Michael Strahan, lost arguably its best linebacker in Kawika Mitchell, and traded away tight end Jeremy Shockey.  And don’t give me crap about Shockey not being an incredible loss; losing a guy who was good for 60 to 70 catches a year and took attention away from Plaxico Burress is a loss no matter how much he blasts gays in the media or calls Bill Parcells a ‘homo’.  Now the Giants are left with a less than impressive defensive line, a pissed off receiver who wants a new contract in Plaxico Burress, and a guy in Eli Manning who still hasn’t sold me on his ability.  His QB rating was 73.9 last year, I don’t need to justify it.  And as for Strahan being encouraged by ESPN to come out of retirement, I hope he doesn’t fall victim to the same pressure Favre did.  There’s no reason for him to come back and get frustrated with the double team for 16 weeks.  It’ll be a waste of everyone’s time.

During ESPN’s most recent waste of time poll, they asked if the Giants could still make the playoffs despite losing Osi.  55% of the people who responded said yes.  55% of the people who participated in that poll are high.  Outside of a small miracle happening in the Meadowlands, there’s no way this team can be as good as the Cowboys and I dont even feel like they’re as good as the revamped Washington Redskins.  This team finishes 7-9 and relaizes that Tom Caughlin is still the mediocre coach everyone wanted to fire last year at this time.  So go ahead Giants fan, load up your ammo and take your shots at me.  I’m not wrong.

We’re about 20 hours removed from Super Bowl XLII and I’m still struggling to find the proper superlatives to describe the Giants’ 17-14 upset over the Patriots. Shocking, incredible, surprising, dramatic. Pick whichever one you want. Rather than attempt to break down the game with a standard article, I’ll use bullet points. After all, who doesn’t love bullet points?

• Here’s a few fun statistics. The NFL’s leading passer (in yards) has never gone on to win the Super Bowl. Ever. That’s 42 years of sample size to work with. And before you go claim that Kurt Warner led the league in 1999, he didn’t. Steve Beuerlein did. However, Warner did lead the league in passing in 2001, when his Rams lost to the Patriots. Speaking of Kurt Warner. He’s the last regular season MVP (1999) to win the Super Bowl.

• How about that Giants’ defensive line? The likes of Osi Umenyiora, Justin Tuck and Michael Strahan delivered their most dominant performance of the season in the biggest game of the season. While Eli Manning deservedly sits on newspaper front pages everywhere, the true MVP of this game was that Giants front four. They were everywhere.

• Speaking of Eli Manning. He’s taken plenty of shit throughout his career but man, did he step it up yesterday. Eli threw for two touchdown passes in an epic 4th quarter, including the play that everyone is talking about. As soon as it happened, you figured it was just meant to be for the Giants. Chalk that play up as “Super Bowl Lore.” We’re gonna be seeing that one for a while.

• Where was that old Patriots team? Once the Pats’ offensive line realized the Giants had come to play, I expected them to “flip that switch” and go back to their dominant selves. But they didn’t. All of the nastiness that line showed for the last 18 weeks was gone. Instead, the Giants made them look substandard. Mediocre, even. Despite that record-setting Patriots’ offense, the game still has to be won in the trenches. And for the first time all year, the Pats’ offensive line didn’t man up and do the job.

In the end, doesn’t this seem like some sort of karmic justice? The Patriots, criticized for Spygate videotaping opposing coaches and running up the score, fell short in their quest for football immortality while Eli Manning, the emotionless drone under center in New York, came up huge. Even a day later, typing that doesn’t feel right yet.

In order to completely ensure that I would know who was going to win the Super Bowl, I fired up my crystal ball (Xbox 360) and threw in Madden 2008. What better way to ultimately gaze into the future and know who is going to win the Super Bowl before it’s even been played? The results, as I found out, were exactly as I had previously thought; blowout.

What better way to answer critics about your injured foot than by throwing for five touchdowns and having a perfect quarterback rating? Well, that’s what Tom Brady did to the Giants, racking up 452 yards through the air and throwing touchdowns to five different receivers. Randy Moss had one, as did Wes Welker and Laurence Maroney. To my surprise, Donte Stallworth stole the show with ten catches for 165 yards and a touchdown. Who saw that coming? Eli Manning didn’t fare as well as the aforementioned Brady, throwing for two touchdowns and one interception. Manning didn’t have a terrible game but much of his production can be attributed to the fact that the Giants primarily threw the ball in the second half after the Patriots took a 21-0 lead into half.

On the ground the Patriots had no problem establishing the run. Laurence Maroney ran for 115 yards on 22 carries and Sammy Morris, miraculously healed from an injury that sidelined him for the rest of the season, scored a touchdown. The Giants, meanwhile, had a tough time. Brandon Jacobs was shut down, gaining just nine yards on the ground. Any resemblance of production came from forgotten Reuben Droughns who had 68 yards on 18 carries.

On the defensive side of the ball, the Giants didn’t do much. Michael Strahan and Osi Umenyiora each had a sack and Antonio Pierce racked up a team high 8 tackles. For the Pats, safety Rodney Harrison led all defenders with nine tackles and also had the lone interception of the game.

The final score: 42-17. Tom Brady is still waiting for Plaxico Burress to step onto the field and play. I’m waiting for someone who is able to give this team a game. This one was wrapped up by halftime and the Patriots cruised to victory. Will this be a glimpse into the result tomorrow? Probably not. But that doesn’t mean it’s not going to be a blowout. Good luck New York, hopefully you can give the Pats a better game than Madden thinks you will.

In case you were looking for a storyline to follow in this year’s Super Bowl, you probably aren’t looking hard enough. There’s plenty. One that I have found specific interest in, however, is one that ESPN has blatantly overlooked. While there’s so much talk surrounding Eli Manning and his campaign to be the second Manning brother in two years to win the Lombardi Trophy, I’m more concerned about fitting a championship ring on the chubby fingers of back-up quarterback Jared Lorenzen.

Shawne Merriman. Jason Taylor. Brian Urlacher. Patrick Kerney. What do all these names have in common? They all weigh less than the round mound of touchdown, Jared Lorenzen. Lorenzen’s weight, which is now at 285, had once ballooned to over 300 pounds. For a quarterback! Doesn’t arm flab get in the way of a perfect throwing motion? Not for Lorenzen. This guy attacks a buffet like he attacks the Eagles secondary; with reckless abandon. Doesn’t weighing 300 pounds bring a new definition to the phrase “not so mobile quarterback.” Somewhere, Drew Bledsoe is laughing his ass off right now.

So when you sit down this Sunday to watch the Super Bowl and the camera pans to the Giants sideline, find number 13. He’s not hard to miss and I guarantee you’ll double take and realize that he’s not a lineman. Nope. He’s the back-up quarterback for the New York Giants. And even though he probably won’t play Sunday and, hell, probably won’t play anytime in the near future, let’s cheer for Lorenzen to get a ring. He’s the biggest guy not playing and deserves it.