All is wrong in Big D. So…how bout them Rams!  In all factions of the game, the Rams abused and destroyed the Dallas Cowboys.  Roy Williams had no catches and the Dallas defense looks as bad as we thought it might be with two rookie cornerbacks starting.  And then there’s giving up over 150 yards on the ground to Steven Jackson.  The Cowboys have some issues to sort out.

I’m liking my playoff pick of the Bills more and more. Trent Edwards threw only five incompletions yesterday and Marshawn Lynch had a productive day running the football.  On that positive note, I’d like to tell Buffalo to sort their shit out and not have transformers blow up, causing me to miss almost the entire first half on tv.  Between this and the TBS debocle showing the Steve Harvey show instead of the Tampa Bay Boston game, I’ve had about enough with television malfunctions.

The Chiefs are worse than you thought. If it weren’t for garbage time points from Tyler Thigpen, the Chiefs would have been shut out at home for the first time ever.  Regardless of the 10 meaningless points they scored, they got molested.  Over 300 yards allowed rushing to a Titans team that makes no secret of their desire to run is unacceptable and unbelievable.

The Rays know how to make a dogpile. I’ll make no secret of it, the baseball game last night was a thousand times more entertaining/meaningful than the shitty Seahawks Buccaneers game on Sunday Night Football.  What a hell of a dogpile they made after the game though; that’s a lost art.  Suffocating guys underneath and having more and more guys going Brian Dawkins onto the pile.  Awesome.  And finally we have some new blood in the World Series.  Enough of this big market bullshit, Rays Phillies here we go.

Pacman checked into an alcohol rehab facility. I fail to see how this will matter.  No way this dude gets another shot.  If he does, Roger Goodell is a pushover.

The Lions are going to fulfill my lifelong dream. I knew I liked this team for a reason.  With Dan Orlovsky at the helm, there’s no way this team wins a game.  Calvin Johnson is the only player on this team that matters and Orlovsky didn’t give him more than two looks yesterday, one of which was a prayer hail mary.  The end result?  Megatron had 154 yards receiving on two catches!  The defense doesn’t look capable of stopping a CFL team, let alone any of the next ten teams they’ll play.  We can do this!  We can make dreams happen!  0-16, lets start the bandwagon.

Robert Flores is the biggest nerd on television. I don’t know if you’ve ever caught this asshat on Sportscenter, but his antics are quickly becoming unbearable.  Flores can’t go an entire show without mentioning something about one of his eight fantasy football teams or something about a football player in Madden 09.  “In Madden 09, you can play as Roy Williams on the Cowboys.  I did…online last night…by myself…because I have no friends.”  I jock my fantasy team in articles and podcasts because I’m a freelance goon and I just don’t care.  Flores jocks his because he’s an unprofessional piece of shit.

Looking ahead to Monday Night. The Patriots really need a win tonight.  This game may, in fact, be unwatchable because of how much Kornheiser and Jaworski will talk about the impact of Tom Brady not being in the Patriots lineup.  Also, prepare yourself for three hours of Kornheiser slobbing on Cutler’s knob.  I’ve never seen such a jerk fest for a guy who hasn’t done a damn thing in the NFL.

This weeks’ matchup should be a good one with the Steelers and Ravens meeting in what can be categorized as a backyard brawl.  There’s been plenty of smack talk flying both ways and we’re going to capitalize on it.  So join us!  Kickoff at 5:30 pm PST.

Green Bay will be just fine. Despite the best effort of his offensive line to stall drives with mind numbing penalties, Aaron Rodgers played a great game last night in the national spotlight.  Rodgers threw for a touchdown and ran another one in as the Packers held on to beat the Vikings 24-19.  See, we weren’t wrong when we said that the Packers would be fine without that idiot, Favre.

Oakland…wont. Yikes.  Anyone who stayed up to watch the back end of the Monday Night Football doubleheader probably regrets it.  The Oakland Raiders looked like a combination of a train wreck happening in the midst of a tornado while a hurricane is bearing down.  They looked pathetic.  They looked worse than the thousands of goons in the stands dressed up as any horror figure from any movie ever.  It’s tough to make season long projections based on one weeks’ performance, but the Raiders looked like the worst team in football last night.  The problem is that, with Al Davis at the helm, it’s probably not going to change.

Tom Brady apparently got hurt? I don’t know if you saw this, ESPN hasn’t said much about it.  Brady blew his knee out on a hit by Kansas City safety Bernard Pollard on Sunday, effectively ending his season immediately after it started.  Losing Brady hurts; we know this.  But it’s the Patriots we are talking about here; they’ll find a way and get it done with Matt Cassel.  And if you’re a betting man, the Patriots are coming in as underdogs this week versus Bretty and the Jets.  Take it.

Dallas is the NFL’s best. I’ll go ahead and get this out of the way now.  In a week where some of the AFC’s finest looked bad in losses, the Cowboys looked outstanding in a win over last year’s surprise team, the Cleveland Browns.  Playoff history aside, this team appears to be the most rounded in the NFL by my estimations.  Felix Jones is going to be a superstar in the NFL some day, it’s just a matter of the Cowboys finding effecient ways to use him.  When they’re clicking, the Cowboys look downright scary.

Vince Young has fallen off his rocker. Even though there’s not much substance to the story about Young running off last night, I still have some concerns.  He looked bad again, the Titans fans boo’ed his ass, and Tennessee had to win in spite of him, not because of him.  Does Kerry Collins make the Titans a better team?  Hell no.  But we need to come to the realization that Vince Young sucks.

I’ve decided to mute Monday Night Football. If Tony Kornheiser makes one more Aaron Rodgers Brett Favre comparison, I’m going to fly to the booth and shove his mic down his throat.  Honestly, the only reason we’re still stuck on comparing Rodgers to Favre is because of punk asses like Kornheiser who are treating this like Favre was an ex girlfriend.  Stop it, assholes.  I’ll go ahead and warn you now; the Cowboys Eagles game is going to be filled with Jessica Simpson and PacMan banter.  I’ll give Ron Jaworski six weeks before he knocks Kornheisers ass out of the booth with a right hook because Kornhole is talking about something not pertaining to the game itself and subsequently interrupting Jaws while he tries to study film.

It’s the first Monday night of the year and ESPN is kicking it off with two great matchups.  Join us for a live blog of the Vikings and Packers game followed by the Broncos and Raiders provided we are able to maintain our blood sugar dodge our game suspension stick it out through the Raiders playing football for three hours.

Barbaric costumes, cheese heads, Darth Vader masks, and Broncos foam head things not provided.

This screen captures comes compliments of a forum I visit frequently. Honestly, how in the hell does this get past the chain of command that exists during a broadcast like Monday Night Football? Whoever screwed the pooch will likely be getting some sort of punishment tonight. If this blunder isn’t proof that MNF should stay the hell away from Buffalo, I don’t know what is.