As a continuation from the National League tale of the tape, let’s take a look at the two remaining American League teams; the Boston Red Sox and the Tampa Bay Rays.  More specifically, lets take a look at the obnoxious Red Sox nation and how they compare to the fierce rays that swim around in the tank in right-center field at Tropicana Field.

Height/Weight:
Red Sox Fan: Usually like six foot brah, weighin in at a hefty 230 but it’s 230 pounds worth of Red Sox blood.  GO SAWX.
Rays: Can grow up to 25 feet in width and can weigh up to 5,000 lbs.

Introduction to baseball:
Red Sox Fan: Came in around 2002 with the rise of the Red Sox in the AL East division standings.  Followah of Kevin Millah, Big Papih, and, of course, the Caaaap, Jason Varitehk.
Rays: Came into the league in 1998 but didn’t matter (unless you gave a shit about who finished last place or reaped the benefits of acquiring one of their countless talented young players in a steal of a trade) until this year.

Typical Friday night:
Red Sox fan: Goin to the Sawx game, of course.  Then aftawards, headin’ down to McGillicutty’s, O’Houlihans, or the Blarney Stone fah a few rounds of Sam Adams and spendin’ the night talkin’ bout the Sawx win.  Love that shit, brah.
Rays: Swimming around a glass tank.

MVP of the team:
Red Sox Fan: DUSTIN PEDROIAH THE DESTROYAH BRAH.  Nawt just MVP of our team, MVP of the world.
Rays: Blub blub, Evan Longoria, blub blub.

Notable feats:
Red Sox Fan: Annoying the shit out of everyone in the United States who isn’t a Red Sox fan.
Rays: Taking down Steve Irwin, someone who was previously thought to be fearless and a superhuman.  RIP.

Yankees?:
Red Sox Fan: Nothin’ I hate more, brah, than tha Yanks.
Rays: We justify our spring training fight as standing up to the man, but the Yankees couldn’t give two shits about it.  We’re still the Rays.

Series History: Up until this year, there wasn’t much of one.  But the Rays have stood up to the Red Sox all year, and I’m sure that, over the course of this season, some stupid ass Red Sox fan got stung by a sting ray at a beach somewhere (Red Sox Nation is everywhere brah).  Likewise, the Rays have battled back and forth with the Red Sox all season, including a sweep in Tampa Bay late in the year.

Outcome: The Red Sox are still the Red Sox, and they’ll put up a fight.  But this year seems to be the year of the Rays.  Tampa seems more confident and more energetic, and I think that’ll translate.  And I also like Tampa’s pitching more than Bostons.  Rays in seven.