Houston, We Have Permission To Launch Mediocrity: The Houston Astros were a major disappointment in 2007, finishing sixteen games below .500 but still somehow finishing fourth in the shitburger that is the NL Central. Pitching was a major issue for the Astros in 2007 so, as a remedy, they went out and acquired shortstop Miguel Tejada, a rapidly declining defender and an enormous distraction given his involvement in the Mitchell Report. Houston, we have a problem.

Bats. The aforementioned Tejada was the big splash that the Astros made over the off-season. Tejada simply can’t play shortstop anymore; he’s too old, his range isn’t what it used to be, and he’s not allowed to take juice to cover up the myriad of other problems with his game. That being said, he still knows how to hit a baseball and, given that Minute Maid Park has the dimensions of a little league field, Tejada should be able to put up respectable numbers in his first season in the National League. Next to him at third base is fat ass Ty Wiggington. Wiggington embodies the player who puts up good numbers but never does it when you are watching. He’s going to hit 20 home runs but you’ll never hear about it and I’ll never see it happen. Maybe someone is fudging his numbers a little bit in exchange for the plethora of fudge Wiggington undoubtedly keeps in his locker. Read the rest of this entry »