I knew there was a reason we couldn’t shove down any of Phelps notorious daily meals.  I didn’t realize that, in order to be able to eat around 12,000 calories a day, you have to smoke hippy lettuce before hand.  Of course!  How could such an obvious reason slide by me?  Let’s listen to his explanation…

“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

Ohhhh, okay.  Well, Michael, here’s the thing.  I think we should have expected this from you considering your previous run in with the law…you know…that DUI you picked up when you were 19.  No more free passes.  And wow, you’re building quite the repertoire here, aren’t you?

Look, we get that Phelps is a God among men when he’s in the pond.  But raging into a party and taking snappers from a bong?  Horrible, horrible, horrible idea.  One of his worst.  Let’s just hope he doesn’t get hit with the proposed four year suspension, effectively keeping him from participating in the London Olympics.  I hope the buzz was worth it.

Photo courtesy of News of the World.

It seemed like nearly everytime you turned on the Olympics to watch Michael Phelps break world records and win gold medals, the NBC cameras would somehow find his Mom nervously sitting in the stands.  Much was made about his Mom having to raise Phelps on her own after her husband ditched the marriage while Michael was still fairly young and before he turned into…oh i dont know…the most popular athlete in the world.  Well, after years of mystery, I think I found him.  None other than the lead singer from Twisted Sister, Dee Snider.

This look-alike is uncanny.  It’s so uncanny it has to be true.  So does this give us reason to believe that, as the band was formed, maybe Snider should have gone with “Twisted Swimmer?”  Or how about changing their hit song from “We’re not gonna take it” to “We are gonna break it.”  Okay, okay, enough with the Twisted Sister play on words.

Seriously though, is Dee Snider just Phelps wearing a blonde pony tail?  Phelps doing his war cry after winning a gold medal looks an awful lot like Snider doing the ultra-makeup kinda gay rock band of the 80’s scream.  Pretty unbelievable if you ask me.

Note: You can also view the video in high definition here on Vimeo.

Over the past week and a half, there’s been tons of talk about Michael Phelps’ performance at the Olympics; his eight gold medals, his world records, and his eating habits.  Most people wondered how in the hell Phelps could shovel down 12,000 calories a day in food without having his heart stop.  Is it humanly possible to eat that much?  Well, we put it to the test.  Rich and Kevin from Sportable and Kyle, one of our loyal readers, attempted to tackle one of Phelps’ meals in a gold medal food competition.  The results were less than world record worthy.

Kevin had breakfast, which was:
Three egg sandwiches
A five-egg omelet
A bowl of oatmeal (Phelps eats grits)
Three slices of French toast
Three chocolate chip pancakes
Two cups of coffee

Kyle had lunch:
One pound of pasta
Two ham sandwiches
One protein/energy shake

Rich had dinner:
One pound of pasta
A large supreme pizza
One protein/energy shake

Hungry Michael Phelps

Had Nine Gold Medals But Ate One

Now He Owns Mark Spitz

Above is a screenshot from Yahoo!’s live blog of last night’s swimming and gymnastics events. There are a lot of things wrong (funny) with this picture. I’ll let you be the judge.

If you would have told me that the men’s 4×100 freestyle relay last night would be the most exciting sports event I have seen since the Super Bowl, I probably would have told you that you were crazy.  Instead, the event turned out to be exactly that, easily the most exciting sports moment since the Super Bowl, and probably the most exciting Olympic event in recent memory.

Entering the race the American team was considered underdogs to a French team that was cocky to say the least.  Entering the race, the French anchor, Alain Bernard had said “The Americans? We’re going to smash them.” It turns out, Bernard was the one getting smashed as he gave up the lead the French had given him in the final leg to American Jason Lezak.  But it wasn’t as if he gave the leg to Lezak, who had to set a world record for an individual leg in the relay, as well as catch up to Bernard in the last 25 meters and then pass him only on the touch of the wall.

The reaction of swimming deity Michael Phelps was perhaps the highlight of the race.  He was screaming like he was possessed as Lezak made the turn for the final 25 meters and the screaming only intensified as Lezak approached the wall for the touch.  It was upon the touch that Phelps screaming came to a sudden halt as he looked up anxiously at the scoreboard only to see that the United States had indeed pulled off the upset, at which time the screaming resumed.

Phelps reaction was similar to mine, and undoubtedly countless others throughout the United States.  Already interested because of the sheer fact that five of the finalists would break the current world record, the ending sealed the deal for me.  Leaping off the couch and celebrating was destined to happen when Lezak got the touch first, and I was reminded once again why the Olympics are so amazing.

The video of the race can be seen here.