If you missed last night’s Rockets-Suns beatdown, you missed a scuffle involving Matt Barnes, Rafer Alston and just about everyone in uniform. The highlight, undoubtably, was Shaquille O’Neal running to shove Tracy McGrady, knocking down three or four other players in the process. Unfortunately for the Rockets, they didn’t have the intimidating presence of Clutch, the Rockets’ lovable mascot. Thanks to Deadspin, we’ve found a hilarious video involving said mascot, scaring the bejesus out of little kids. Enjoy. 

Two videos of mascot dancing this week alone? Are we that lucky? This clip came to me on a forum. It features Mr. Met showing up at an Indian wedding. The groom was apparently a diehard Mets fan. Mr. Met helps them cut the cake and when the lights go down, he cuts up the dance floor as well.

I’ve always idolized the Oakland Athletics’ mascot, Stomper. For one, he’s incredibly out of place; an elephant adorning the hats of a team called the “A’s.” But that hasn’t stopped him from becoming a Bay Area icon, along with Baron Davis, Billy Beane, Randy Moss, LaMont Jordan, Al Davis and Frank Gore. The following clip comes to us from Sports Biotch and showcase the infamous Stomper getting hyphy.

Because I thoroughly enjoyed breaking down the NBA Mascot Playoffs for the first round series, I’ll be repeating the process for the NHL Conference Semifinals. NHL mascots are generally less important than other things that make up the typical fan experience: Zambonis, octopi, and a lack of a decent TV deal. The NHL Playoffs are the best thing going right now and all four of these series should be great. Without further ado, the matchups.

Buffalo Sabres (Sabretooth) vs. New York Rangers (Nothing): What a way to kick it off. The Rangers are one of seven NHL teams that lack a mascot. They’re joined by other disgraceful franchises like the Wild, Flyers, Blues, Oilers, Kings, and Stars. And what do you know? All of those teams are out of the playoffs. Karma is a bitch. Sabretooth isn’t much to write home about but he does exist, unlike the Rangers mascot. Therefore, he wins in a walkover. He appears to be lovable enough to have some fans. Hell, he must be doing something right to get those 1269 friends on MySpace.

Actual Prediction: Sabres in 6
Mascot Prediction: Sabretooth in Walkover

New Jersey Devils (NJ Devil) vs. Ottawa Senators (Spartacat): First of all, I don’t understand having a “Spartacat” as a mascot for Senators. I’d much rather see someone like John Kerry (or you know, a Canadian) skate around the ice and shoot t-shirts into the crowd. Instead, it’s just a big freakin’ cat. Spartacat may look fierce but he’s no match for a seven foot hell-raiser like NJ Devil. Apparently, New Jersey didn’t get the memo that mascots are supposed to be cute and lovable. Even the Nets ignored that rule.

Actual Prediction: Senators in 7
Mascot Prediction: NJ Devil in 4 Read the rest of this entry »

As you may be aware of, the two months of drawn-out hype that is the NBA Playoffs tip off this weekend. Lots of blogs have already published their first round series previews. Rather than analyze the teams and players, I thought I?d change it up. I?ll be offering two predictions: one based on what I feel will happen. The other prediction will be based on the ferocity of each team?s mascot.

Pistons (Hooper) vs. Magic (Stuff): The Magic seem like one of those child-friendly teams, much like the Los Angeles Angels. It’s the Disney influence that makes them pretty likable but in the end, pretty childish. It’ll be a tough task to knock off Hooper, a horse with some crazy red and yellow hair. Stuff the Magic Dragon looks like the end result of a contest for kids. He’s got tentacles and antennas everywhere. But this seems like destiny for Stuff. Today is 4/20. Puff the Magic Dragon has plenty of ties to marijuana. Therefore, Stuff is inspired and takes home a historic upset.

Actual Prediction: Pistons in 5
Mascot Prediction: Stuff in 7

Bulls (Benny) vs. Heat (Burnie): Benny Bull is one of the NBA’s veterans. He was a playable character on some old video game. Hell, he was around when Jordan and Pippen were wreaking havoc. His opponent here is a tough one, considering Burnie is highly flammable. However, he’s no match for Benny. He’s had run-ins with the law before, taking a swing at an off duty officer while driving a mini-motorcycle through an outdoor festival. Not even I could make that up.

Actual Prediction: Heat in 7
Mascot Prediction: Benny in 4 Read the rest of this entry »

As you may be aware of, the two months of drawn-out hype that is the NBA Playoffs tip off this weekend. Lots of blogs have already published their first round series previews. Rather than analyze the teams and players, I thought I’d change it up. I’ll be offering two predictions: one based on what I feel will happen. The other prediction will be based on the ferocity of each team’s mascot.

Mavericks (Champ and Mavs Man) vs. Warriors (Thunder): The Mavericks have a distinct advantage here because they have a pair of mascots, as opposed to the Warriors’ lone soldier. Champ, a horse, and Mavs Man, the result of failed DNA splicing, are just too much for Thunder, even if he’s among the scariest mascots in all of sports. How is an 8th seed going be able to handle a handicap match? He might be able to last a little bit longer than some expect but in the end, it’s still 2 on 1.

Actual Prediction: Mavs in 6
Mascot Prediction: Champ and Mavs Man in 6

Rockets (Clutch) vs. Jazz (Bear): Any assumption that everything in Salt Lake City is boring would be correct, considering the name of their mascot. You can’t think of something more descriptive than Bear? What about alto? Tenor? Salt? The Rockets’ mascot isn’t creepy like Golden State’s, it’s just a lovable bear. This one’s pretty even but I like Clutch. He’s been voted as Mascot of the Year in the past so he must be doing something right. If I picked against him, little kids would cry.

Actual Prediction: Rockets in 6
Mascot Prediction: Clutch in 7 Read the rest of this entry »