Lost in the Green Bay Packers-Brett Favre nonsense was the heated, often comical quarterback competition taking place in the Windy City. The Chicago Bears, a team with arguably the worst quarterback situation in football, chose to stand pat with their two cumslingers gunslingers, Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton. With just a couple weeks ’till kickoff, it appears round one of this fiasco has gone to Orton.

Kyle Orton will start as the Chicago Bears opening day quarterback—beating Rex Grossman in a competition that lasted through training camp and two preseason games.

The Bears open the regular season on Sept. 7 against the Indianapolis Colts.

Orton started 15 games in 2005 and three last season. He’s thrown for more than 2,300 yards and 12 touchdowns in his career.

Incredible. We know what Orton’s all about: Throwing picks, leading anemic offenses, and getting pugging bottles of Jack Daniels. But can he take Chicago back to the postseason? Just a year removed from the Super Bowl, the Bears appear to be mired in the same nonsense they were three or four years ago when they were deciding between Grossman and Orton. Here’s the truth, Lovie. Both of them suck ass and shouldn’t be starting for a team with playoff aspirations.

Orton’s body of work this preseason has been less than impressive. Hell, he’s coming off an effort where he went 5/9 for a paltry 43 yards. The difference between him and the Sex Cannon? Orton hasn’t thrown a pick in two preseason games, while Rexy has thrown one. Regardless of who starts, we know one thing: Soldier Field will remain the backdrop for the league’s worst quarterback play.