The MLB trade deadline is quick approaching, and although it appears most of the major names who are going to be moving have already been dealt, there is still time for a few more deasl.  And of course, I have an opinion on deals or signings I would like to see made at some point in the near future.

Greg Maddux to any contender. Maddux is stuck in hell on one of the worst baseball teams in recent memory in San Diego.  The fact is, he can still be a serviceable third or fourth guy in a rotation and bring a definitive veteran presence.  I think most contenders would do well to bring on Maddux to help them out, and honestly, he deserves better than being stuck in San Diego.

Barry Bonds to the New York Yankees.  The sad thing is Hank Steinbrenner might be batshit crazy enough to actually make this happen.  I just want to see it happen because I’m about 90% sure all Hell would break loose if it did happen.

Xavier Nady back to the Pirates. This deal goes hand in hand with the previous one.  With Bonds in the Bronx, there is no need for Nady, and he can go back to Pittsburgh where he belongs.  That was the most talented young outfield in baseball, and had potential to be one of the best outfields the game has seen in a long time and a great foundation for that organization.  This would make that hope whole agian.

Brett Favre to the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Hey, this is the best of both worlds, Favre goes to a competitor (the Roughriders are 5-0 and in first place) and we don’t have to deal with him anymore.  I can’t think of a better way to finish a career than by winning a Grey Cup.

Josh Hamilton to my fantasy team. I just need an extra boost for the final stretch of the season.

Mark Prior to the Disabled List. Oh wait…that already happened.

Joey Barton to the MLS. We need more players who will beat the hell out of their teammates over here in the states, we simply don’t get that enough. In fact, I even have a return propostion for this one, Europe can have Kwame Brown, it’s going to save Pistons fans a lot of furstration, and the dude straight up sucks anyways, he doesn’t deserve to play over here.

Gaston Sessa is a goal keeper who never quite made it to the big European leagues. As such, he is taking his fury out on everyone who is around him. This makes him one of my favorite people, and basically, a replica of Joey Barton.

Sessa is currently in trouble for his antics this year, most notably kicking an opponent square in the face after going to get a cross. This is usually a bad idea, and actually lead to Sessa’s ejection. Previous to this Sessa angrily kicked a ball at a ball boy, who probably didn’t do a damn thing to him. Following this debacle he proceeded to grab his package for a photographer. I’m sure that was a lovely picture. And prior to both of those incidents this year, he slapped a team-mate mid game, and somehow avoided a red card. Taking a page from the Barton/Randy Moss school of thought, Sessa also mooned fans in 2002 and attacked a team-mate last year. Kinda sounds like the type of guy you don’t want on your team.

Somehow Sessa hasn’t been suspended, but I’m sure there will be action taken against him soon. The problem is, no one cares about the league in which he plays, so no one really cares that he’s doing this stuff. At least his teammates can take comfort in the fact that he hasn’t attacked any of them with a lit cigar…yet.

Joey Barton, the epitome of a Sportable hero, is at it again. The midfielder for Manchester City has been suspended for the rest of the year by the team stemming from an incident in practice. Instead of mooning the fans, Barton just fought his teammate and put him in the hospital.

The good news is this time he didn’t attack his teammate with a lit cigar. The bad news is he still fought his team mate and sent him to the hospital with a mouth injury. I’ll assume that this was a fist fight, but I’m still holding out hope that Barton tried to deliver a Chan-Ho Park style scissor kick to the face.

I’m sure that Ousmane Dabo, the man who got kicked, doesn’t find this story amusing at all, but for us here at Sportable, it’s what we live for. Barton clearly has an anger management problem, but it doesn’t appear as if he is going to do anything to fix it. His agent said that these things happen all the time at practice and that it is only newsworthy because Barton was involved. I’m going to go ahead and disagree with him on that one, I think it’s in the news because Dabo is in the freaking hospital.

If Barton and his agent don’t realize he needs help, then I guess we’ll just have to continue to be entertained by his antics. The suspension by Manchester City won’t have an impact, the guy is talented and will find work regardless of his antics. He’s clearly a bad team mate and that makes him great in my book.

Remember Randy Moss fake mooning the crowd at Lambeau Field? Now imagine the reaction from Joe Buck if Moss had actually dropped his pants. Because that is exactly what happened in England. Manchester City midfielder Joey Barton mooned opposing fans not once, but twice following a victory. The fact of the matter is this is absolutely hilarious and immature, who wouldn’t like someone who has to show up fans by showing them his ass.

Somehow Barton managed to escape with only a fine, but after doing a little more research I am shocked he got off so lightly. This guy is worse than Stephen Jackson, and the entire Cincinnati Bengals team. We’re talking about the same guy who shoved a lit cigar into his teammates eye at a Christmas party. There’s one hell of a way to celebrate the Christmas spirit, damn why didn’t I ever think of shoving a cigar into my friends eye. He did manage to get a years suspension as a result of that incident. Think anyone invites him to parties anymore? Neither did I.

Barton also was involved in a fight with a 15 year old (yes, 15) fan in Thailand. If Barton is letting a 15 year old get under his skin, he might be in the wrong business, he should at least consider getting some anger management.

Barton responded to all of this by further ruining his reputation by harassing and attacking a female steward at an away game. And of course, not to be finished, Barton urged Manchester City fans to storm the field. Keeping in mind this was an away game we realize the complete idiocy of Barton.

Throw in the other minor reports of running over a pedestrian and breaking his leg, as well as starting a brawl at a random friendly match and I begin to question what people can get away with in Europe.

Here is a full list of all of his insane actions. Needless to say I’m now a Manchester City fan and am scouring ebay for a Barton jersey.