For the Detroit Lions, the perfect season is halfway done.  They may not face a bigger trial than they faced yesterday in Chicago against a Bears team that was ready to give the Lions their first win.  And give the Lions credit; they scored 23 points in the second quarter on the road and still managed to snag defeat from the jaws of victory.  I’ll admit that I was worried.  Having the perfect season rest in the hands of Rex Grossman is not something I’m accustomed to nor is it something I would normally wish upon a team.  But Grossman proved me wrong, threw two touchdowns, and kept the perfection in tact.

Aside from Calvin Johnson putting up decent numbers for my fantasy team, I don’t think I’ve asked for too much from the Lions.  So I’ll keep it simple; mail it in.  The checks will keep coming regardless.  Stop trying and make this season a year of perfection.  I know bringing in a guy like Daunte will make the appearance that the Lions are looking to improve.  They aren’t.  If Daunte was anything close to consistent, he would have already been playing for a team that doesn’t have a zero in the win column.

Jacksonville, you’re up next.  You already screwed it up and gave the Bengals their first win of the year; don’t be that team that screws up perfection for both Cincinnati and Detroit.

All is wrong in Big D. So…how bout them Rams!  In all factions of the game, the Rams abused and destroyed the Dallas Cowboys.  Roy Williams had no catches and the Dallas defense looks as bad as we thought it might be with two rookie cornerbacks starting.  And then there’s giving up over 150 yards on the ground to Steven Jackson.  The Cowboys have some issues to sort out.

I’m liking my playoff pick of the Bills more and more. Trent Edwards threw only five incompletions yesterday and Marshawn Lynch had a productive day running the football.  On that positive note, I’d like to tell Buffalo to sort their shit out and not have transformers blow up, causing me to miss almost the entire first half on tv.  Between this and the TBS debocle showing the Steve Harvey show instead of the Tampa Bay Boston game, I’ve had about enough with television malfunctions.

The Chiefs are worse than you thought. If it weren’t for garbage time points from Tyler Thigpen, the Chiefs would have been shut out at home for the first time ever.  Regardless of the 10 meaningless points they scored, they got molested.  Over 300 yards allowed rushing to a Titans team that makes no secret of their desire to run is unacceptable and unbelievable.

The Rays know how to make a dogpile. I’ll make no secret of it, the baseball game last night was a thousand times more entertaining/meaningful than the shitty Seahawks Buccaneers game on Sunday Night Football.  What a hell of a dogpile they made after the game though; that’s a lost art.  Suffocating guys underneath and having more and more guys going Brian Dawkins onto the pile.  Awesome.  And finally we have some new blood in the World Series.  Enough of this big market bullshit, Rays Phillies here we go.

Pacman checked into an alcohol rehab facility. I fail to see how this will matter.  No way this dude gets another shot.  If he does, Roger Goodell is a pushover.

The Lions are going to fulfill my lifelong dream. I knew I liked this team for a reason.  With Dan Orlovsky at the helm, there’s no way this team wins a game.  Calvin Johnson is the only player on this team that matters and Orlovsky didn’t give him more than two looks yesterday, one of which was a prayer hail mary.  The end result?  Megatron had 154 yards receiving on two catches!  The defense doesn’t look capable of stopping a CFL team, let alone any of the next ten teams they’ll play.  We can do this!  We can make dreams happen!  0-16, lets start the bandwagon.

Robert Flores is the biggest nerd on television. I don’t know if you’ve ever caught this asshat on Sportscenter, but his antics are quickly becoming unbearable.  Flores can’t go an entire show without mentioning something about one of his eight fantasy football teams or something about a football player in Madden 09.  “In Madden 09, you can play as Roy Williams on the Cowboys.  I did…online last night…by myself…because I have no friends.”  I jock my fantasy team in articles and podcasts because I’m a freelance goon and I just don’t care.  Flores jocks his because he’s an unprofessional piece of shit.

Looking ahead to Monday Night. The Patriots really need a win tonight.  This game may, in fact, be unwatchable because of how much Kornheiser and Jaworski will talk about the impact of Tom Brady not being in the Patriots lineup.  Also, prepare yourself for three hours of Kornheiser slobbing on Cutler’s knob.  I’ve never seen such a jerk fest for a guy who hasn’t done a damn thing in the NFL.

At long last, it’s over. Arguably the most painful era in professional sports has finally come to an end. Longtime President and CEO of the Detroit Lions, Matt Millen, was finally relieved of his duties after eight awful years at the helm. Since 2001, no NFL team had lost more than 74 games. Millen’s Lions lost 84.

The tipping point might have been public comments made by the owner’s son. Lions vice chairman Bill Ford Jr. said Millen should leave the team, and the Ford Motor Co. executive chairman said if he had the authority, he would make moves.

“I think the fans deserve better,” Bill Ford told reporters on Monday. “And if it were in my authority, which it’s not, I’d make some significant changes.”

It doesn’t matter that the Lions are 0-3 and would probably be hard-pressed to stop a Pee-Wee football team. What matters is they’ve started digging themselves out of the hole they dug upon hiring MIllen back in ‘01. This franchise has never been a proud one. But it also hasn’t always been the league’s laughingstock. Now, with Millen gone, the Lions can move forward and regain their rightful spot among the league’s most mediocre and irrelevant teams.

Credit the son of Lions owner William Clay Ford for finally speaking up about the mess earlier in the week. On Monday, Bill Ford Jr. said that he would fire Millen if he had the authority to do so. Luckily for Bill, daddy was listening. But what now for the LOLions? Respectability isn’t going to come quickly, but it could come a lot sooner if the Lions hire a legitimate GM to take Millen’s job. Isiah Thomas, anybody?

Granted, this is going to take time. Turning around a culture of losing takes time. But let’s take a look at last year’s laughingstock, the Miami Dolphins. They got their ass kicked in ‘07, made a splash with Bill Parcells and are now well on their way to getting back to respectability. I can think of one coach who has made a habit of winning in blue-collar, shithole industrial cities.

There’s nothing quite like an athlete not getting what he wants and, instead of acting calm and mature about it, going Ruben Rivera on the situation and acting in the most immature way possible.  That’s what running back Tatum Bell did shortly after finding out that he was being released by the Detroit Lions to make way for newly signed Rudi Johnson.  Johnson didn’t think much of leaving his luggage outside Matt Millen’s office while he worked out the final numbers on the deal he was about to sign.  Maybe he should have.  Upon walking outside the office after getting his contract done, he discovered his luggage was nowhere to be found.  Here’s a hint, Rudi, it wasn’t Hamburglar that snagged your shit.

Upon looking at the security tapes of the hallway, it was discovered that Tatum Bell came by and snagged Johnson’s luggage and ran off with it.  He didn’t just go home after taking the luggage though; Tatum is better than that.  Instead he went to an ex-girlfriends’ house with the luggage and came up with a bullshit story about where the loot had come from.  Like any person with common sense, she didn’t buy it.  Bell was tracked down and gave back the luggage.

Tatum, are you kidding me?  Don’t play this off like it was accidental because it obviously wasn’t.  This is almost as good as Ruben Rivera snagging Derek Jeter’s glove out of his locker.  Almost.  What a classic way to end your time with a team; by stealing the guy who’s taking your jobs’ stuff.  Rumor is that he is now trying out for the Houston Texans.  Great, just what Ahman Green needs; Tatum stealing that phantom medication that Sonny always talks about for Green’s sweaty forearms.

In this episode we take a look at the NFC North.  We give our predictions as to who will finish where and we spend a good deal of time bashing discussing the quarterbacks within this division and of course there are the obligatory shots at Brett Favre.

Hosts: Kevin, Ryan, Rich

 

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One of our favorite stories over the last year has been the drunken idiocy of former Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen? Remember him? The guy that got liquored up and went through a Wendy’s drive-thru completely naked? Jon Kitna and his wife sure do. Kitna and his wife honored Cullen by dressing up at Mike Furrey’s charity Halloween party.

“A lot of the guys on the team remember what happened,” Kitna told Fox 2 at the party. “It’s far enough removed that you can laugh at it now.”

Kitna’s Cullen costume involved a bodysuit, a T-shirt with a bare chest stamped across the front and a thong. He wore a dark wig with a Lions’ coaching visor. Jennifer Kitna wore a Wendy’s employee uniform with a headset to take the customers’ drive-thru order and a red pony-tailed wig that’s symbolic of the company’s logo, a red-haired little girl.

Coming from the devout Christian that said God was on the Lions’ side, this costume comes as a bit of a surprise. Nevertheless, it’s a hilarious gesture by a guy that seemingly can’t do many things wrong these days. After predicting ten wins in the offseason, I laughed. But sitting pretty at 5-2, Kitna’s predictions appear to have some validity.

Despite wowing everyone at the Halloween party, some people aren’t so amused. Detroit Free Press columnist Drew Sharp has already come out and criticized Kitna, saying the costume was in “poor taste.” Sure it was. But so was Cullen ordering a #4 in his birthday suit. Lighten up, Drew. Jon Kitna has helped make the Lions relevant again. For one day, he can be a little crude.