What’s the best way to cover up the fact that you had two garbage time catches and were rendered entirely useless against the Dolphins?  Talk shit about their best defensive player, of course.  After getting punched in the mouth all day by Joey Porter and the Dolphins defense and hearing Porter talk about Brandon Marshall being a quitter on the offense if he doesn’t get the ball early, Marshall fired back with some ignorant shit of his own.

“Yeah, Joey Porter’s one of them guys, when you got guys who talk a lot of trash, just want to talk about people or put people down, they have their own insecurities,” Marshall said. “And his insecurities I don’t know. But he’s definitely one of those guys who all those muscles are popcorn muscles. He’s soft.”
“You know, we hear stories floating around the league all the time about him as far [as being] in nightclubs dancing with his shirt off like a girl or in the playground getting beat up back in California,” Marshall said. “He’s one of those guys that no matter how big he is, he can still get knocked on his butt and he’s soft. He’s soft at heart and you can tell by the way he talks.”
“And his nickname is ‘Peezy.’ I don’t know what ‘Peezy’ is.”

This is smart.  How about going across the middle, Brandon.  How about asking the quarterbacks who Porter has blasted 11.5 times this year if his muscles are made of popcorn.  And comparing Porter to another guy who grinds in the club without a shirt on?  That’s just low.  Maybe Marshall should spend more time concerning himself with his lackluster performance of late.  How does a guy like him go off for 18 catches in a game and then only find the rock twice in another.  We know Cutler and Marshall are butt buddies; it’s not like that diabetic hick isn’t looking to get him the ball.

I have a better idea.  Instead of popping off to the media about a guy you won’t see again this year, why don’t you concern yourself with your own team; a team that has lost three games in a row and looks like a complete disaster.

After the San Diego Chargers’ shocking loss yesterday, the first thing I wanted to do was log onto Sportable and rip the NFL apart, mainly their most famous referee, Ed Hochuli. But I didn’t want to speak out of rage and emotion. After a reflection of the chaos, I think I’ve calmed down enough to where I can address the nonsense that went down at Invesco Field yesterday.

The weirdness started early on, as Champ Bailey’s extracurricular activities were rewarded, as he stripped an already-tackled Chris Chambers. The result, shockingly enough, was called an interception by Bailey. When Muscle Beach Hochuli went to review it, he found the replay system “malfunctioning.” Convenient. But instead of having a back-up plan, the NFL only requires officials to wait two minutes before moving on with the play as called. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t there a goon up in the replay booth that has access to these things. In the case of malfunction, why aren’t the review responsibilities delegated to the upstairs official? Seems like a pretty easy way to alleviate the crisis, right Commissioner Goodell?

Then, of course, the Jay Cutler play. Can we think of a more obvious blown call? I can’t. Here’s an issue that needs to be addressed at this year’s owner meeting. Ed Hochuli and his triceps quickly admitted the call was blown, but there was simply no way to correct the call because the whistle was blown. Why in the hell not? Hochuli screwed up, but under this rule, he’s not permitted to fix it. We know Guns’ track record; all in all, he’s a pretty solid official. But he’s human. Humans make mistakes. But I thought the reason we had the review system was so human mistakes wouldn’t decide football games. 

Bad calls are a part of sports. I get that. And while Denver should have never even gotten the chance to score their touchdown and 2 point conversion, San Diego still had two great chances to knock a pass down. For the second week in a row, they failed. For the second week in a row, defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell showed how inept he is, bringing no pressure and letting his all-pro, physical cornerbacks give ten yards of cushion. Old habits die hard. For Cottrell, this latest screw-up should be the deciding factor in giving the defensive coordinator spot to linebacker coach Ron Rivera. 

All in all, the San Diego Chargers were completely robbed yesterday. But even after being robbed (twice), they still had two opportunities to win the football game by making one play. They didn’t. Ultimately, that falls on Ted Cottrell and his suddenly inept defense.

In this edition we take a look at the AFC West, complete with two of the worst teams in football (Chiefs and Raiders) and one of the best (Chargers).  In addition to discussing these teams in depth, we make our playoff and Super Bowl predictions, and you don’t want to miss those.

Hosts: Kevin, Rich, Ryan, Sonny

 

 AFC West [46:32m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

• Anquan Boldin, one of the brightest receivers in the NFL, isn’t pleased with Arizona Cardinals management. After saying the Cardinals lied to him about his request for a new contract, Boldin has come out and said he won’t resign when his contract expires after the 2010 season. While it’s often hard to side with a client of Drew Rosenhaus, at least Boldin will still hit the field during training camp and bust his ass, something his own starting quarterback hasn’t even done.

• The last couple days have seen nearly every major conference be put into the spotlight of Media Day. One of those was the Big Ten, my least favorite conference. New Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez took the podium and gave one of the week’s most amusing comments. Rodriguez said he would answer a reporter’s question about West Virginia “so he wouldn’t have to address it for 13 or 14 more years.” Get real, Rich. The questions won’t stop, especially when your Wolverines lose their opener to a talented Utah team.

• One of the NFL’s most consistent receivers, Rod Smith announced his retirement from the NFL today. The 38-year-old had battled injuries for the last couple years, but remained a positive force in the Broncos’ locker room. Smith’s numbers support his induction into the NFL Hall of Fame, but the Broncos need him to continue to mentor troubled receiver Brandon Marshall, who appears hellbent on destroying his NFL career before it even begins.

For the entire month of August, the Sportable Staff will look at one National Football League team a day. We?ll look at their offense, defense and in the end, assess their playoff chances. Previews will be done by division, starting with the NFC East. Each new division will also feature a new podcast devoted entirely to that division.

Can Tons of New Faces Offset Tragic Losses?
Whether it was in or out of their control, it’s hard to find many teams that had a more active offseason than the Denver Broncos. Hours after a disappointing home loss to the 49ers denied the Broncos a spot in the playoffs, promising cornerback Darrent Williams was killed outside of a New Year’s Eve party. The following month, backup running back Damien Nash collapsed and died during a charity basketball game. While it will be difficult to pick up the pieces and play on without their fallen teammates, the Broncos appear to have the horses to contend in the AFC.

Offense
The big story of Denver’s season will be quarterback Jay Cutler, who showed tons of promise after taking over for Jake Plummer late last year. Cutler appears to have all the tools to succeed in the NFL: A strong arm, poise in the pocket, a solid supporting cast and Mike Shanahan. Cutler’s promise can be shown in just one play: A deep touchdown pass to Javon Walker that traveled 65 yards in the air against the Cardinals. But this year, it’s his offense. With Jake “The Mistake Snake” Plummer now in Tampa Bay out of the picture, it’s Cutler’s time to shine.

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