Daunte Culpepper is making his situation in Miami even worse by finding new and ridiculous ways to injure himself. Luckily, for him, this time the injury was only to his hand and didn’t involve another ACL tear. Then again, with the notoriously slow healing time of Daunte Culpepper this simple hand injury could sideline him for quite a bit.

There are plenty of jokes that could be made about how the injury was sustained, almost none of which are believable. However, unlike Carlos Zambrano, who hurts himself typing, or Joel Zumaya who hurts himself playing Guitar Hero, Daunte hurts himself in car accidents. The question remains; was it really an accident, or did he hurt himself while washing his truck a la Jeff Kent? Regardless of how it happened, this injury throws a whole new level of complexity into his relationship with the Miami Dolphins. The Dolphins want to trade him, but he won’t accept a trade and now, who is going to want to trade for a quarterback with no talent a bum knee and a bum hand. Rumor has it that the Jaguars are interested, but they appear to be set at the QB position and have to deal with enough injury prone players as it is.

Culpepper has drastically changed his stock from useless to completely useless. He knows that the Dolphins don’t want him, but he also knows that if he can stay on that team he can earn all that money from the fat contract he signed with the team. He won’t play, and even if he does he’ll suck, but it’s worth it for him if he can make the money. So now he’ll just have to sit back and nurse his hand back to health before he goes back to doing absolutely nothing at practice.

This whole Daunte Culpepper story has gone beyond intriguing and is becoming as annoying as Paris Hilton flip flopping in and out of jail. I feel like I’m watching two six year old kids here, one with a tonka truck that the other one wants and both too stubborn to cave and find peaceful resolution. The latest development in this adolescent drama-laden situation is that Culpepper is no longer allowed to practice with the team. Cool Miami, thanks.

The conclusion to this is about as inevitable as the Royals losing 100 games this year. Miami needs to cut his ass and move on. Culpepper has already said that he’s not willing to share his action figures be traded and will veto any deal lobbed the Dolphins way. In essence we have a situation here where Miami wants to dump the overpaid and overrated piece of shit and the overpaid and overrated piece of shit won’t go out any way except through outright release. What’s the hold up?

Note to Matt Millen, pick up the phone. Culpepper is old school and represents himself so there shouldn’t be much trouble ironing out a contract wherever he will be headed next. I think Detroit is an ideal place for Daunte. There’s been a lot of rumors that he may land in Baltimore or Jacksonville, but I think the D is ideal for Daunte. Remember when he first came into the league and had that one explosive receiver to throw to and benefited greatly from it? Well, Detroit drafted Calvin Johnson this year. Deja vu anyone? The bottom line here is that Miami needs to get rid of this distraction immediately. It’s annoying and I’m sick of it.

Well, that experiment failed. With the acquisition of Trinterception Green, Daunte Culpepper’s days in South Beach appear to be numbered. The injury-prone Culpepper was lousy with the Dolphins last season, throwing just two touchdowns. However, I wouldn’t expect much out Trent Green. He’s old, concussed, and downright mediocre these days.

“They would like to trade me in order to ‘get something for me,”‘ Culpepper, who is his own agent, wrote in an e-mail after meeting with Miami general manager Randy Mueller and first-year coach Cam Cameron. “However, it is my position that I have already been down that road and I am not interested in being traded.”

What exactly can the Dolphins get from a guy with knee problems, a guy that’s never shown ability to play without Randy Moss? Just how long will Trent Green be able to hold down the fort in South Beach? A couple of seasons? Picking up Trent Green and drafting Brady Quinn would have been the smart move here, giving the Notre Dame sack-toucher someone to learn from. Instead, the Dolphins drafted the Ginn Family.

It’s hard to guess what’s next for Daunte Culpepper. Just a few years ago, he was putting up gaudy numbers at the Metrodome and now, he’s going to be unemployed. It’s the latest twist in a strange Miami offseason. I don’t think their situation is envied by many teams in the league.

With Ronnie Brown and a soon-to-be reinstated Ricky Williams, we know the Dolphins will be set at running back in 2007. But it’s the quarterback position that remains a tough situation for new head coach Cam Cameron. After a disastrous debut season in Miami, Culepper is still struggling to rehab his knee. He’ll be forced to miss the team’s mini-camp.

“When I’m healthy it won’t matter,” Culpepper told the South Florida Sun-Sentinal. “Without a doubt, [I'm still the man]. I definitely want to be the [Dolphins'] quarterback and that’s what I’m working hard to be. Like I said, when I’m healthy, it’s no issue.”

That’s the thing Daunte. You’re never healthy. You’ve played 11 games in the past two years and for the most part, you’ve been awful in every one of them. I admire his resiliency but even if he’s healthy, I still haven’t seen much out of Culpepper without Randy Moss. He had some great years in Minnesota but that seems like ages ago.

So what does Miami do now? They’ve been pursuing Trent Green, which I’d highly recommend against. Green is trash but he might be the most stable option this season if Culpepper’s rehab doesn’t go smoothly. They still have Cleo Lemon, who was always liked by Cameron back in San Diego. What a difference a year makes. This team was talking about the Super Bowl a season ago because of Nick Saban and Culpepper. Now, Saban is in Alabama after flaking on the Dolphins and Culpepper’s knee doesn’t work. Ouch.