Tank Johnson finds himself as the third victim of the new crackdown by new NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. After serving a two month jail sentence, that involved piling up an interesting bill, Johnson was suspended for eight games. The good news for Tank, besides the fact that he can get candy easier now that he’s out of the slammer, is that he can get his suspension down to six games.

If Johnson could find a way to whittle down his suspension to just six games, then he would be out one game for every unregistered firearm that was in his house. If that isn’t poetic justice, then I don’t know what is. It appears as if Johnson really does want to turn things around though, as he says that he wants to earn the NFL man of the year honors at some point down the road. For some reason, I don’t see that happening, try as hard as he might. Once you get that bad boy reputation, it’s going to stick with you for as long as you are in the league, just ask Ron Artest that. Some people may be upset that Pacman Jones, who was only supposedly involved in a shooting, gets a full year suspension while Johnson, who did jail time, gets away with eight, or six if he’s lucky, games. Whatever side you fall on, it’s apparent that Roger Goodell isn’t taking this commissioner job lightly.

Johnson may have a hard time getting back in with the Bears, he was suspended for one game last season after a night club incident in which his body guard was shot, and this will only increase the distrust the team has. I think that Johnson will find himself out of shape once his suspension is over, and the Bears will certainly need to find a replacement for him, and as such, he will have a hard time getting his job back. It will be interesting to see how things play out for Tank.

If you’re like me and you’ve never been to jail before, it’s easy to wonder what kind of food rations one gets while in the slammer. Apparently they don’t give you enough food, at least not if your name is Tank Johnson. In the 60 days Tank was in the big house, he spent an estimated $700 dollars on assorted junk food. Now I see where the nickname comes from.

I’m sure I don’t need to do the math for you on this one, because that’s an awful lot of money to be throwing around on food on top of the daily three meals. While some inmates are trying to score dope, Tank is looking to score some sour ropes. Some inmates build home made shanks, Tank builds licorice straws. Some inmates pop pills, Tank pops Skittles. I don’t think I need to go any further and I’m sure you get the picture.

Why wasn’t Tank getting in shape? Shouldn’t he have been doing weight dips instead of eating Fun Dip? Apparently he’s not only breaking people off with his arsenal of weapons but also with Slim Jims. While most visitors to inmates sneak contraband in home made cakes, the only thing Tank is sneaking is some creme frosting. Way to be on top of your game, Tank.

While reports say that Tank may actually start this year for the Bears, it appears to me that he’s adopted a new lifestyle. He’s no longer hanging with the homies that got him in trouble, and instead Tank is kicking it at his crib with Willy Wonka and Alexander the Grape. Good luck with that new lifestyle, Candy Man.

There’s a reason the NFL has become known as the No Fun League. The NFL is usually stingy about it’s dress code, often fining players for not having proper shoes, having socks pulled up too high, or having a jersey un-tucked. Most of these things are petty, come with a fine that acts more like a slap on the wrist, and are soon forgotten. The latest move by the NFL wasn’t exactly petty, and probably won’t be forgotten about for a long time.

Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher was fined by the NFL for wearing a hat at a Super Bowl press conference that had the advertisement of a company not endorsed or sponsored by the NFL. What was the fine for Urlacher? $100,000. No, I’m not talking about the delicious candy bar either. I don’t care who you are or what kind of money you make, $100,000 is a lot of money. It’s too much money.

Just because the NFL is butt hurt about Urlacher rocking a brand that he, along with several other athletes, endorses, doesn’t mean they should tag him with a fine that exceeds 6 digits. Wouldn’t a $10,000 fine have been enough to get the point across? It’s not like this was even during a game either, it was during a press conference. The idea that he can’t wear a specific hat because the NFL doesn’t specifically endorse it is one thing. Taking that big of a chunk out of his paycheck is another thing. Was Urlacher flipping fans off? No. Was he making stupid signs that taunted the NFL’s fine policy? No. He was wearing a hat.

When trade rumors between the Chicago Bears and Washington Redskins started circulating, I wasn’t surprised. Even when the Redskins offered Chicago the 6th overall pick for Lance Briggs, I wasn’t really surprised. After all, Washington is known for botching personnel moves and making costly signings. But for some reason, the Bears have rejected Washington’s offer.

In exchange for Briggs and the 31st overall pick, Chicago would have received the Redskins’ 6th overall selection.But considering Briggs has vowed to never play for the Bears again, they’re essentially moving up 25 picks for nothing. Jerry Angelo, are you a dumbass? You’re running the defending NFC Champions and you reject a gimme 6th pick? Why?

The Bears had been hinting they might ask for an additional Redskins linebacker to make the trade, but the Redskins made it clear to the Bears on Monday that if they asked for more than the proposed draft-pick swap, the trade talks were over.

While this draft’s linebacker is relatively weak, the Bears are still missing out on a chance to draft an instant contributer. They could have shored up the offense line or make a slight reach at Ole Miss’ Patrick Willis, the elite linebacker in this draft class. Or they could have simply taken the 6th pick and traded down slightly, stocking up more picks in the process. Teams can become (and stay) powerhouses through the draft. Chicago just missed a royal opportunity to rob the Skins blind.

Go ahead and add this thrilling saga to the growing list of story lines running through the Bears headquarters this offseason. Lance Briggs is pissed, and he wants you, me, and the Chicago Bears to know about it.

“I am now prepared to sit out the year if the Bears don’t trade me or release me,” Briggs told FoxSports.com on Monday night. “I’ve played my last snap for them. I’ll never play another down for Chicago again.”

Okay okay Lance, we got it. You don’t want to be in Chicago anymore. What’s with all the animosity here? Did Peter Angelo molest him after the Super Bowl or something? Briggs, who made up a key part in one of the most stingy defenses in the league, apparently doesn’t like playing on a good team along side one of the best linebackers in the game in Brian Urlacher. I can understand if he’s pissed that he didn’t get the fat contract that a Pro Bowl linebacker like himself thought he deserved, but come on. Briggs is definitely pulling a Spartan move here, standing his ground in the face of the city of Chicago.? I fully expect him to kick Lovie Smith down a well if Smith asks him to play.

If I’m Chicago, I trade Briggs as soon as possible. The media circus surrounding Rex Grossman will be back next year, and count on another T.O.-esque media ring to form around Briggs if he stays on his team. People are going to focus on the fact that Lance Briggs doesn’t want to suit up for Chicago, not that the Bears were one win away from being Super Bowl champions.

Despite finishing 13-3 and coming off a berth in Super Bowl XLI, the Bears are having one brutally bad offseason. Rather than trying to right their wrongs, the Bears simply added to their list of mistakes, trading their star running back Thomas Jones along with the 63rd pick in the NFL Draft for the New York Jets’ 37th overall pick.

It seems like every move the Bears have made involving their running backs has been piss-poor. After Thomas Jones had a very solid first season with the Bears, Chicago drafted Cedric Benson 4th overall in the 2005 NFL Draft. They then failed to sign Benson quickly, which slowed his development tremendously. Jones played with a chip on his shoulder and ran for 1335 yards. Benson ran for 272.

This year, Jones was phenomenal again. He ran for 1210 yards and six touchdowns and had two great performances in the postseason, running for 123 yards in the NFC Championship and 112 yards in the Super Bowl (on just 15 carries). What did Cedric Benson do against Indianapolis? He ran for -1 yard and lost a fumble. Good choice Chicago.

After this year, Chicaog knew Jones’ 2005 wasn’t a fluke. He’s the total package at running back. As talented as Benson may be, he still hasn’t proved much. If there was one back that should have been traded between the two, it sure as hell wasn’t Jones. Why not just keep both of them? It’s not like the Bears got much out of the deal anyway. Maybe Lance Briggs had a point. The Bears have won a lot of games the past couple of years but in the process, they’re still baffling me with their stupidity.