In this episode we take a look at the NFC North.  We give our predictions as to who will finish where and we spend a good deal of time bashing discussing the quarterbacks within this division and of course there are the obligatory shots at Brett Favre.

Hosts: Kevin, Ryan, Rich

 

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Lost in the Green Bay Packers-Brett Favre nonsense was the heated, often comical quarterback competition taking place in the Windy City. The Chicago Bears, a team with arguably the worst quarterback situation in football, chose to stand pat with their two cumslingers gunslingers, Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton. With just a couple weeks ’till kickoff, it appears round one of this fiasco has gone to Orton.

Kyle Orton will start as the Chicago Bears opening day quarterback—beating Rex Grossman in a competition that lasted through training camp and two preseason games.

The Bears open the regular season on Sept. 7 against the Indianapolis Colts.

Orton started 15 games in 2005 and three last season. He’s thrown for more than 2,300 yards and 12 touchdowns in his career.

Incredible. We know what Orton’s all about: Throwing picks, leading anemic offenses, and getting pugging bottles of Jack Daniels. But can he take Chicago back to the postseason? Just a year removed from the Super Bowl, the Bears appear to be mired in the same nonsense they were three or four years ago when they were deciding between Grossman and Orton. Here’s the truth, Lovie. Both of them suck ass and shouldn’t be starting for a team with playoff aspirations.

Orton’s body of work this preseason has been less than impressive. Hell, he’s coming off an effort where he went 5/9 for a paltry 43 yards. The difference between him and the Sex Cannon? Orton hasn’t thrown a pick in two preseason games, while Rexy has thrown one. Regardless of who starts, we know one thing: Soldier Field will remain the backdrop for the league’s worst quarterback play.

• Patriots offensive lineman Nick Kaczur will be appearing in court today to defend his arrest in April that included a drug possession charge. Kaczur, easily one of the most unique and difficult last names to pronounce in the NFL, will be arraigned on charges of OxyContin possession. Leave it to the Patriots to find guys who can’t get down and party like everyone else with a bag of hippy lettuce and instead hit the hard prescription stuff. Kaczur’s assistance in arresting his dealer after his own arrest will assuredly shorten his sentence (which is maximum a year in prison) to a slap on the wrist and a small fine.
• Only six first round picks have signed as of this morning. Is everyone aware that camp starts this week or is it just me? These signings always fall like dominoes but come on guys. Lets get everyone into camp and stop bitching about $500,000 in incentives.
• The more I look at the Minnesota Vikings, the more I see a playoff team waiting in the wings. In all seriousness, Tavaris Jackson is about the only question mark with this team (and a big one at that). The Vikes defense, which was incredible last season, added drunk driving pass rush specialist Jared Allen and the offense added the speedy services of Bernard Berrian at wide receiver. Something tells me that the Packers, with or without the retired bastard who will go unnamed, are going to get leapfrogged in this division by the Vikings.
• Surprise, Surprise, Chad Johnson is going to report to camp on time. What a waste of time this whole story has been. Remember when Chad went Kobe on Cincy and said he couldn’t play there anymore? Come on. This passing offense is one of the most prolific in the NFL and theres no way the Bengals were going to let him walk. Props to Marvin Lewis for playing hardball during the situation; we knew he wasn’t going to cave.
• Brian Urlacher and the Bears are going long term on a contract that will keep Urlacher at Soldier Field for 43 more years. While this is a good move by the Bears, they still lack any form of intelligence on the offensive side of the ball. Get ready for a year full of 13-10 and 14-9 shootouts.

Hosts: Sonny, Ryan, Kevin and Rich. In this episode, the entire Sportable staff discusses the NFC East. There were debates on whether or not the Detroit Lions, led by Jon Kitna, can surprise people and compete in the NFC North. Also, Sonny made the gutsy prediction of the Green Bay Packers winning the division.

You can find Episode 28 here. (Download mp3)

For the entire month of August, the Sportable Staff will look at one National Football League team a day. We?ll look at their offense, defense and in the end, assess their playoff chances. Previews will be done by division, starting with the NFC East. Each new division will also feature a new podcast devoted entirely to that division.

Monsters of the Midway are Back for Another Run
For a team that went 13-3 and made a trip to the Super Bowl, doesn’t it seem like the Chicago Bears have more questions than your average conference champion? Most of those questions surround Rex Grossman, who had the uncanny ability to look like an MVP for one play and someone who should be bagging groceries the next. Whether or not Sexy Rexy plays like a decent quarterback, the Bears should easily win the NFC North again.

Offense
The Bears offensive numbers are a bit misleading. They scored 427 points last year, which tied them for second-most in the league. However, the Bears scored nine touchdowns on defense and special teams, far more than any other team in the NFL. Which Rex Grossman will show in 2007? He had seven games with a quarterback rating of more than 100. But some of his performances were an abortion to the quarterbacking position. He registered a fat rating of 0 against the Packers and threw three or more interceptions in five different games. The playoffs were a similar story for Rexy. He threw just one interception in the NFC Playoffs, only to throw two in the Super Bowl loss in Miami. Lovie Smith felt 2006 was the equivalent of a rookie season for Grossman. I’m not sure I buy it.

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After incidents involving both Elijiah Dukes and Sean Salisbury, it’s safe to conclude that threats or insults made via cell phone are the new hotness in sports. But now, a more high-profile athlete has jumped into the fun. Brian Urlacher has been accused of sending abusive text messages by the mother of his two year old son. The messages are angry, unimaginative, and of course, fun!

“Go to hell you f—— —-.”

“Grow the f— up and quit praying and get a job.”

“You’re a f—— fruit cake.”

“Your raising a little p—y.”

Considering I’ve never seen Urlacher crack a smile, this mean streak isn’t surprising. The guy has allegedly send 30 rage-filled text messages since January. Some people request a daily horoscope in their inbox each morning. Tyna Robertson has a subscription to Brian Urlacher’s anger. Of course, Urlacher’s crew is denying everything, saying Robertson has a history of “self-serving fiction.” Sounds like the perfect duo for creating new “pussy” kids.

These two have been fighting for custody of Urlacher’s son the last few months and by this report, it doesn’t look like it’s being settled nicely. And by the way, Brian, I don’t think the term “fruitcake” would apply here. After all, you slept with this stripper and got her pregnant.