Ali-Frazier, De La Hoya-Mayweather and now…Clemens-McNamee. By the time you’ve read this, Roger Clemens will have arrived for an event that could define his entire career. “The Rocket” is set to go before Congress this morning and defend his assertion that he’s never taken a performance-enhancing drug. If what we’ve heard is any indication, Clemens could be in for a very, very long morning in our Nation’s Capital.

Remember the last time Major League Baseball stars went before Congress? All it did was result in the complete self-destruction of guys named Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro and Sammy Sosa. Now we can safely assume that Clemens won’t forget English. We can also assume that Clemens will, in fact, be there to talk about the past. But what will happen next is anyone’s guess.

Unfortunately for Clemens, he’ll have few allies by his side. Former teammates Andy Pettitte and Chuck Knoblauch have already come forward and admitted their own ‘roid use. But even more damaging for the Rocket was Pettitte’s testimony, which stated that Clemens used HGH nearly 10 years ago. Not good, Roger. Not good.

In the end, this Congress thing won’t be solving much. We can expect both Clemens and McNamee to stick to their stories. We can also expect this media circus to carry on for a few more months. And unfortunately, this saga will only distract people from some actual good news in the world of baseball. Pitchers and catchers report this week!

With the George Mitchell Report now released to the public, an entirely new avenue of discussion has been opened. Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Barry Bonds, Mo Vaughn and Miguel Tejada were all mentioned. But what about the guys we all expected? Where’s Javy Lopez, Bret Boone, Brady Anderson and the Giles Brothers?

The big story here is Clemens. For the last couple years, my friends and I have assumed Clemens was juiced. That mysterious “thinking period” of 50 games had us thinking “suspension swept under the rug.” Now comes the difficult part for the media: Putting Clemens in the same light as Barry Bonds. They’re both legends of the game. And now, they’re both revealed as cheaters. It’s up to the media to portray them the same exact way. If Bonds isn’t going to the Hall, neither should Roger.

My personal favorites have to be the stories mentioned with Juan Gonzalez, Paul Lo Duca and Eric Gagne. On a road trip to Toronto, Gonzalez’s goody big of syringes and drugs was caught at the border. Meanwhile, LoDuca’s personal check bounced. And Eric Gagne? Well, the only contact he made with Kirk Radomski was when he asked Radomski how to get air out of a syringe.

Maybe next time, we won’t have to deal with the rantings of a senile George Mitchell. Did he just read the same speech twice? Listen, old man. Nobody gives a shit about Northern Ireland and your parent’s immigration struggles. Start listing names.

An entire list of names is available after the jump. Props to Deadspin for weeding through the 400+ pages and getting what everyone wants: A list of names. Does it answer all of our questions? Of course not. But it’s definitely a nice start.

Read the rest of this entry »

With Barry Bonds hitting his 750th homer to move just five away from Hank Aaron, the inevitable discussion of steroids will only continue. But as it turns out, juicing is not some new fad. It’s been going on for millions of years. The following clip is from Dinosaurs, one of my favorite TV shows growing up. The show dealt with a number of adult topics: Endangered species, “Happy Plant”, and steroids. This clip consists of Robbie Sinclair roiding out and feeling the negative effects. Take note Barry. You don’t want to be throwing bathroom sinks around, do you?

It’s no secret that Jeff Gordon is one of the most hated drivers in NASCAR by one large demographic of fans: hicks. Maybe it’s his mild celebrity status that he had or it’s the fact that he’s born in California. Or maybe it’s because his car used to resemble a rainbow, angrying lots of Tim Hardaway impersonators down south. Now they have another reason: Gordon’s car has failed inspections.

Cheating must be catching on pretty recently in NASCAR because I’ve never seen so much prerace hype over failed tests, crew chiefs being canned, etc. Regardless, it’s a decent storyline for Sunday’s Daytona 500, which I probably won’t watch. As penalty, Gordon has been forced to start in 42nd place.

“That’s what’s bothered me the most,” Gordon said. “It’s what kept me up all night. People are going to think we did something to circumvent the rules.”

Yes, yes people will think that. They don’t really have a choice Gordon, your car failed inspections. There’s not much more to take out of it than the fact that your crew (with or without your knowledge) tried to give you an illegal boost. The same thing happened to Michael Waltrip, who appeared in interviews yesterday looking depressed and suicidal.

Having such in experience in playing games like Mario Kart and Diddy Kong Racing, I know Gordon isn’t to be counted out despite a late starting spot. Hell, Donkey Kong never had a problem when he started in 8th place. Gordon should be able to somehow get into contention by the end of the race, which should anger the fans pullin’ for Little E.

Gail Devers won the 60 meter hurdles at the Millrose Games yesterday. Yes, this is the same Gail Devers who is forty years old and delivered a child only 19 months ago. Devers posted the fastest time in the world this season, and was 0.12 seconds off of the United States record.

I honestly don’t see how this is possible. I’m not saying that Devers isn’t a phenomenal athlete, she definitely is, but at 40 she is also definitely past her prime. She shouldn’t be posting these times, it just isn’t the way the human body is supposed to work. She should have peaked in her early to mid twenties, not in her late thirties and forties.

And it isn’t as though Devers was facing a field of washed up people either. She was facing some of the worlds best and fastest. How did she win? My guess is simple. She has found the best concoction of steroids. I don’t care who you are, your body just isn’t supposed to do that at the age of 40. Especially since she just had a child.

I’m not saying that she can’t do it, but the layoff she had to have taken just to have the child is certainly a long time. I’m sure she also took off time to take care of the child when it was first born as well. What does that leave us? About a year long layoff for a 39-40 year old. And you’re telling me that she can win a competition like this? I’m sorry, I just don’t buy it.

The NFL reached an agreement with the players union to expand their drug testing. The biggest step was adding in a new test for EPO, the hormone which increases red blood cell production. EPO has been used by many for doping before, most notably in the Tour de France. So to me, this is only a logical step for the NFL to take, EPO gives a definite advantage to players, and the NFL needs to take that away.

The league has also decided to increase the number of players per team tested from seven to ten each week. This means that nearly one fifth of each team will be tested randomly each week throughout the year a total of 12,000 drug tests per year for the NFL.

I think that this is a great move by the league, they need to clean up their image. They have already done a very good job of it, but they still have a steroids problem in their league. This became obvious when a shockingly large number of players tested positive for steroids. A signal your league has a bit of a problem, a punter gets suspended for steroids.

Now what should the NFL do? They should apply the lessons they have learned from dealing with steroids to other illegal drugs. Why? Because the league has been embarrassed enough by steroids and other arrests, the last thing they need is to see an increase in use of illicit drugs.