In response to Joey Porters recent questioning about why Matt Jones has not been suspended by the NFL yet (seriously, this is a legitimate question) Jones decided to take the high road…and question Porter’s sexuality.

“I don’t even know why he’s even thinking about me,” Jones said. “I mean, maybe he likes other men and sits up and thinks about stuff, so I don’t know.”

Really Matt, you went there?  What image of you is he thinking of?  The one pictured above, that one right after you got caught cutting up cocaine in your car with a credit card?  Or maybe its this one, with the flowing locks of hair.  Or is it this ruggedly handsome photo of your pasty body in a tank top?

Are you sure he lays awake and thinks about you?  Or does he think about you when he’s “in nightclubs, dancing with his shirt off like a girl.”  Maybe you and Brandon can team up and do some lines of coke and then commit some act of domestic violence.  Then, while still hyped up on cocaine, you two can run your mouths a little bit more about Joey Porter.  That seems to be what the two of you are best at.

Take my advice, lay off the nose candy and serve your suspension, like we all know you need to.  Hey maybe you can use those three weeks to brush up on your smack-talking skills, “he likes men” just doesn’t cut it after you graduate from elementary school.

What’s the best way to cover up the fact that you had two garbage time catches and were rendered entirely useless against the Dolphins?  Talk shit about their best defensive player, of course.  After getting punched in the mouth all day by Joey Porter and the Dolphins defense and hearing Porter talk about Brandon Marshall being a quitter on the offense if he doesn’t get the ball early, Marshall fired back with some ignorant shit of his own.

“Yeah, Joey Porter’s one of them guys, when you got guys who talk a lot of trash, just want to talk about people or put people down, they have their own insecurities,” Marshall said. “And his insecurities I don’t know. But he’s definitely one of those guys who all those muscles are popcorn muscles. He’s soft.”
“You know, we hear stories floating around the league all the time about him as far [as being] in nightclubs dancing with his shirt off like a girl or in the playground getting beat up back in California,” Marshall said. “He’s one of those guys that no matter how big he is, he can still get knocked on his butt and he’s soft. He’s soft at heart and you can tell by the way he talks.”
“And his nickname is ‘Peezy.’ I don’t know what ‘Peezy’ is.”

This is smart.  How about going across the middle, Brandon.  How about asking the quarterbacks who Porter has blasted 11.5 times this year if his muscles are made of popcorn.  And comparing Porter to another guy who grinds in the club without a shirt on?  That’s just low.  Maybe Marshall should spend more time concerning himself with his lackluster performance of late.  How does a guy like him go off for 18 catches in a game and then only find the rock twice in another.  We know Cutler and Marshall are butt buddies; it’s not like that diabetic hick isn’t looking to get him the ball.

I have a better idea.  Instead of popping off to the media about a guy you won’t see again this year, why don’t you concern yourself with your own team; a team that has lost three games in a row and looks like a complete disaster.