Update: It turns out the Big Tuna will not be heading to Atlanta. Instead, he’s considering a position with the Miami Dolphins. Don’t you just love preliminary reports?

No team in the NFL has had a more disastrous 2007 season than the Atlanta Falcons. Yes, that includes the 1-13 Miami Dolphins. In the aftermath of Michael Vick’s sentencing and Bobby Petrino’s abrupt resignation, I’m sure most Falcons fans were looking for some positive news. They finally have it! NFL Hall of Famer (and silicone enthusiast) Bill Parcells will likely become the team’s new Vice President of Football Operations.

“I’m pretty sure I’m going to do it. [Owner] Arthur [Blank] and I have had some pretty constructive discussions. I basically will oversee the football operations. We’ll meet today — not in Atlanta — and work out some of the final details but I don’t think there’s any deal breakers here,” Parcells said.

While Parcells has no desire to return to the sidelines to coach, his mere presence at the team headquarters will change things dramatically. Remember when Parcells took control of the Dallas Cowboys a few years back? They found themselves in salary cap hell, loaded with egotistical players and rebuilt them the right way. The same thing is going down in the ATL these days. I think Parcells is the perfect guy to replace some of those hacks with tough football players.

You have to compliment Falcons owner Arthur Blank in this one. He’s seen the nightmare the Falcons have gone through both on the field and in the PR department. But the hiring of a future NFL Hall of Famer is a definite step in the right direction. While we’re still unclear on who Parcells will bring in as general manager and head coach, you can bet he won’t be a bastard like Bobby Petrino.

Dallas head coach Bill Parcells is officially calling it quits. The 65 year old Tuna has decided he has had enough and has retired from coaching today. We had heard rumblings of this happening all year. Parcells indicated either he was returning or Terrell Owens was, it simply wasn’t going to be both of them. The question is, did the Cowboys decide to keep Owens, or did Parcells just decide he was done, and make the decision for them?

Parcells was a great coach, but I’m certainly not going to miss seeing his fat gut in sweatpants during training camp. There is an upside in every story, and that is certainly it. I think the countdown is now for how long it will be before he takes the general managers job for the New York Giants. A year? Two years? It’s destined to happen at some point isn’t it?

Farewell to you Tuna, without you Tony Romo would have never had a chance, and Drew Bledsoe or Drew Henson would probably be the quarterback in Big D. Enjoy retirement as you watch that Cowboys team completely dismantle next year because they don’t have a strong personality like you to prevent the egos from blowing up at each other.