Dialing it up? SMASHMOUTH running game? I LOVE IT

There haven’t been a lot of surprises during this year’s NFL Playoffs. But boy, did we have one last night! Spurred on by outspoken head coach Rex Ryan, the New York Jets MANHANDLED the heavily favored Chargers to advance to the AFC Championship Game. How did they do it? Well, I have some theories that I’d like to share. You should listen to them, you know my resume. LINEMAN. PHYSICAL. SMASHMOUTH. WINNER.

1. DIALING IT UP! From the outset, the Jets BROUGHT THE HEAT against the vaunted’ Chargers offense. You CANNOT give time to a quarterback like Philip Rivers. You have to GET AFTER HIM. Mix it up. BRING HELL. The Jets did that by mixing up their blitz packages and limiting the big play. We know Rex Ryan LOVES to mix up his blitzes. And cake mixes. Get it? He’s fat.

2. SMASHMOUTH! What’s the best way to beat a good offense? KEEP THEM OFF THE FIELD!!! This is where I came in. I played with this guy named John Elway. And Terrell Davis. Opposing defenses feared us? Think I gave a shit? Nah. We ran the ball DOWNHILL. We CUT KNEES. Who do we credit for this physical style? REX. RYAN.

3. SWAGGER! If you were watching an NFL game for the first time, you might have thought the Jets were the 13-3 team. They played with CONFIDENCE in their abilities, as well as their philosophy. They got the Chargers ON THEIR HEELS. They forced Norv Turner to…coach? Make adjustments? Inspire his troops? When we he was given those responsibilities, you knew what would happen next. The Chargers folded like my $12 Kohl’s dress shirt.

2 comments… add one

  • Alex January 18, 2010, 7:50 pm


    god he needs to get fired, i can picture him saying this in my head…which is disturbing

  • ????? ??????? January 20, 2010, 2:28 pm

    bring it on.. what a crazy picture!!.lol

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