In a better effort to figure out who will win the upcoming championship series in baseball, I’ve decided to size up identifyable icons with each team. Starting in the National League, lets take a look at Philadelphia’s famous mascot versus the Dodgers most identifyable figure (no, it’s not Mexicans) Tommy Lasorda.
Height/Weight:
Phanatic: 7 foot, no idea how much that suit weighs or how fat the guy inside is.
Lasorda: 6 foot, 280 lbs. (weight is a rough guess, we know he likes cream puffs)
Origins in Major League Baseball:
Phanatic: Debuted in 1978 in a game against the Chicago Cubs.
Lasorda: Took over as Dodgers manager in 1976 after the retirement of Walter Alston.
Stake to fame:
Phanatic: Aside from obnoxious and ridiculous dancing night in and night out, the Phanatic was rated sports’ best mascot by Sports Illustrated.
Lasorda: Was dotted by Vladimir Guerrero’s bat during an All-Star game while coaching third base. Also won two world championships with the Dodgers.
Notable feats:
Phanatic: Could fit a handful of baseballs inside of his awkward beak while doing pelvic thrusts in front of the opposing team’s dugout.
Lasorda: HAS eaten a handful of baseballs while doing pelvic thrusts in front of Raul Mondesi during a game.
Able to defeat Kimbo Slice in a fight?:
Phanatic: Possibly. The Phanatic is huge, so size wouldn’t be an issue against Kimbo. However it’s entirely possible the Phanatic could knock Kimbo down, spend too much time dancing around like a mascot, and get blindsided by Slice while not paying attention.
Lasorda: Doubtful. Lasorda has his mind on the post-fight buffet.
How do they roll:
Phanatic: On an ATV
Lasorda: Probably in some ballin Mercedes or BMW. I’ve never seen Tommy driving around, but I assume he settles for something highbrow.
Series history: The Phanatic once stomped out a lifesize doll of Tommy Lasorda during a Dodgers Phillies game while Lasorda was managing. Tommy responded by running out of the dugout and kicking the Phanatics’ ass. The game was nationally televised. Nice.
Outcome: Though I like the Phanatic’s ability to hang around like an STD, I don’t think his Phightin Phils will be able to do the same. Tommy Lasorda has been personally giving Manny Ramirez massages since Manny’s arrival in Los Angeles. The result has been a superhuman effort. Lasorda and the Dodgers will take this in six.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice prediction.
good call..o and a repeat of 08 this year
johny, you’re the man… i completely agree. we may be behind a game, but the yankees are not gonna take this repeat away from us! as for you dodgers fans, you guys suck at making predictions. rule #1- dont ever doubt the phightin phils! all NY teams blow (yankees dont exactly blow… i mean i hate them with a burning passion, but they are still a tough match).
as for the phanatic, i kinda have to agree that the running over the dummy thing is a little much. however, the phanatic is still the greatest mascot of all time! there is a reason why he is the “most recognizable mascot of any and all sports ever”