Oh Criminal, My Captain

As bloggers, we’ve never hesitated to lay into the Cincinnati Bengals for their awful defense and more importantly, their hilariously long criminal record. The Bengals have attempted to take out some of the trash, cutting guys like Odell Thurman. But if you wondering how serious the Bengals were about cleaning up their act, just look at the case of Chris Henry. Not only was he signed, he was actually a team captain in last night’s preseason finale against the Colts.

Now there’s several theories about what Marvin Lewis meant when he put the “C” on Chris Henry’s jersey. Perhaps it was a gesture of humiliation, similar to that shitty book “Scarlet Letter.” Perhaps the “C” means convict? Criminal? Cell block C? Crazy bastard? There’s lots of theories. But I know one thing: The only team Chris Henry is fit to lead is one from “The Longest Yard.”

Captains lead by example. While other team’s captains like Drew Brees, Peyton Manning or LaDainian Tomlinson call team meetings and show leadership, the Bengals’ captain is perhaps the most infamous scumbag in American sports. Being named a team captain, even for a preseason game, is something that should be earned. Getting suspended for countless off the field issues means you’re simply not there for your team.

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