Brace yourself, Cardinals fans.  Wide Receiver Anquan Boldin isn’t happy and, according to his agent, he wants out.  This is jaw-dropping stuff.  This is incredible news.  The city of Arizona will flip upside down if Boldin is traded.  A legend in the city can’t be dealt like this over such a small impasse!  Wendi Nix is already on her way to Phoenix to set up base camp outside the Cardinals facility and do hourly reports while Rachel Nichols has been on her phone texting Cardinals players all morning trying to find out reactions to the situation.  Linda Cohn is losing sleep over the situation, FOR GODS SAKE ARIZONA WHAT ARE YOU DOING!  NOT BOLDIN!  NOT THE MAN WHO RETIRED AND THEN A WEEK BEFORE TRAINING CAMP STARTED DEMANDED HIS STARTING JOB BACK HAS BEEN IN CAMP THE WHOLE TIME AND JUST WANTS A NEW DEAL!

In all seriousness, I expect the Cardinals to handle this much the same way the Bengals dealt with Ocho Cinco.  Boldin isn’t going anywhere; trading him to a team like Dallas would only damn the Cardinals for years to come.  He’s still under contract for three more years so, as far as the Cardinals are concerned, he’s theirs for three more seasons.

Will Boldin sit out?  For the sake of my prospective fantasy team, hopefully not.  Boldin is a beast and, as a second receiver next to Larry Fitzgerald, a serious mismatch for most defenses.  Can you imagine watching a guy like Ellis Hobbs who is 5′9 try and cover this?  Dominique Foxworth’s eyes in the picture say it all…no chance.

The Cardinals will get a deal worked out with Boldin, whether it’s before or after training camp.  Matt Leinart needs him as a viable second option, Larry Fitzgerald needs him to draw attention, and Edgerrin James needs him to pull safeties away from the line of scrimmage.  Anquan Boldin isn’t going anywhere.