8:20 P.M. Before the start of the 4th quarter, we’re treated to the Dr. Pepper Shootout. The winner of that gets $10,000 in his pocket…or a chance for a 23 yard pass worth $1 million. Of course, he gives the million a shot and misses. This leads to the guy next to us screaming “Take the money, faggot!” Is that sort of outburst necessary? Probably not.

8:25 P.M. Where were we? Ah yes, the game. Texas’ Ryan Bailey has just drilled a 21 yard field goal to give the Longhorns a seemingly insurmountable 18 point lead. This is two straight Holiday Bowl blowouts, a rarity for this game. For the 43rd time tonight, I’m regretting not putting money on Texas.

8:26 P.M. The leg warmers in this open-aired press box aren’t helping. My legs are numb. Yes, I realize one of our readers is probably snowed in right now. No, I don’t care.

8:27 P.M. The guy next to us needs to shave his beard.

8:29 P.M. Rudy Carpenter wears the clear visor, ala Colt Brennan. Unfortunately for Arizona State fans, he’s nowhere near the quarterback Brennan is.

8:30 P.M. Another sideline warning for Texas. At what point do they actually lose yards?

8:33 P.M. One minor tidbit. These two teams are both ranked in the top 20. I know neither team is elite, but this has been one of the uglier games I’ve seen all season. Neither team is very good. With Colt McCoy getting two years under his belt, the Longhorns should find themselves near the top of the Big 12 again. The big question this offseason will be the future of Jamaal Charles. Will he return for his senior season or go pro?

8:37 P.M. And it gets worse for ASU. Vondrell McGee, a redshirt freshman, runs 28 yards untouched into the end zone for his 8th score of the year. On second thought, maybe Texas won’t be in terrible shape without the aforementioned Jamaal Charles.

8:40 P.M. We’ll be heading for the field with five minutes remaining.

8:42 P.M. Hey, Phil Mickelson is in the house.

8:44 P.M. Looking at the schedule, it looks like Arizona State played three “quality” teams this year: Oregon with Dennis Dixon, USC and Texas. They’ve been routed in all three.

8:46 P.M. With Rudy Carpenter out of the game, it’s Danny Sullivan’s time to shine. He’s just thrown a touchdown to junior wide receiver Michael Jones. It’s a 45-27 game.

8:51 P.M. With the game clock dwindling towards five minutes, that’s our cue to head down to the field. We’d like to thank you for reading us tonight. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to talk about a good game. Have a good one!