Dear Mr. Payton,
Hello. First of all, I’d like to commend you on your performance last season. You helped resurrect a franchise (and city) that was in despair, guiding them to the NFC Championship. But here’s a news flash. It’s not 2006 anymore. It’s now 2007. Congratulations! You had a good first year! Now unless you and your 0-3 team want to look like a flash in the pan to the rest of the league, you might want to start pulling your head out of your ass. Luckily, I’m here to give you a couple points on how to address the situation.
Get Back to Basics. I understand Deuce McAllister is now out for the season with a torn ACL. Send Deuce my regards. As he begins a brutal rehab, your team is limping (pun intended) into the bye week at 0-3. Let me ask you Sean. What’s your identity? Your staff’s playcalling is similar to how I play Madden. Rather than running the ball between the tackles, you seem hellbent on getting Reggie Bush in space. It’s not working. He’s supposed to compliment your offense, not have everything go through him. Reggie Bush isn’t at the versatile level of a Tomlinson or Westbrook so stop pretending he is.
More Basics! Last night, you called all sorts of marijuana-induced plays that had no chance of success. Whether it was having Reginald run in circles in the backfield or calling toss flea-flickers and reverses, it wasn’t working. Stop playing cute! Throw the ball downfield to those tall receivers and stop throwing to Eric Johnson in the flats. I’ll admit, you’re not the only team with an identity crisis. But that team has Norv Turner. What’s your excuse?
Take That Secondary Out to Pasture: Now, Sean. I’m not Sports Illustrated. I didn’t put your team in the Super Bowl because I watched enough of your games last year to know your defense was mediocre. This year, they’ve shed the mediocre label. They’re officially awful. I can see getting beat by Peyton Manning. Hell, I’ll even give you the road loss in Tampa. But returning to the Super Dome should have been inspired your defense to kick ass, ala last year’s home opener.
Last night was a blast in the past. The Saints, ESPN’s proclaimed America’s Team, were getting booed by their home fans. Are you still the Saints, Sean? Or should I drop the “S” for old time’s sake?