Chris Cooley Needs a New Contract, Pants [Hogs Haven]: I ran into these horrific pictures yesterday morning and around 2 AM last night, my eyes finally stopped bleeding. It’s Chris Cooley, probably the loser of a bet, rocking some really short shorts. Brandon Lloyd approves. I sure as hell don’t.

Mo Vaughn Will House You [Bugs and Cranks]: I was always a big fan of Mo “Hit Dog” Vaughn. But like a bunch of stars from my childhood, Big Mo fell off the face of the earth, taking Jose Rijo with him. He’s apparently entered the real estate business. He’s renovating low-income housing in New York and selling it for an affordable price. He must think that New Yorkers will forgive him for his shitty tenure with the Mets.

A Father’s Day Fit for a F–king Badass [Kissing Suzy Kolber]: If you’re a dad and your day was anything like this, you should be proud of yourself. He’s drinking himself into oblivion, flying to Las Vegas and slapping Russell Crowe, and taking numerous bong hits. Funny as hell.

Think Suns Fans are a Little Bitter [Bright Side of the Sun]: ESPN polled its “SportsNation” and asked whether or not the Spurs were a dynasty. 49 states felt they were. The one state that said no? The fine state of Arizona. Even New Hampshire thought the Spurs were a dynasty! New Hampshire!