Thanks to help from our good friends at Deadspin, we were able to obtain a list of every NFL player arrest dating back to 2000. Since commenting on all of these would be way too tedious, I’ve selected a few that I find especially hilarious. (The whole pdf can be found here)
Leonardo Carson. 8/21/03. Carson was charged kidnapping and burglary Aug. 21 in Mobile, Ala., while home to attend his grandfather’s funeral. Here’s a good way to set off a somber occasion. While mourning with the family would be the easy way to handle the situation, Carson figured he’d stir the pot a little bit, steal some stuff, and brawl at the funeral. My oh my, what an angel of a grandson.
Andre Rison 8/7/00. Cited for obstructing a police officer by giving false information. He identified himself to the officer as “Brock Middlebrook.” Good looking out on this one, “Brock.” When you’re someone as notorious as Andre Rison was at the time, it’s tough to buy into the fact that you’re actually Mr Middlebrook. Don’t worry Andre, errr Brock would go on to get charged with passing bad checks to a jewelry store just 17 days later. Way to be a stand out citizen, Brock.
Dwight Smith 3/1/05. Arrested and charged with pulling a pellet gun on two fans who approached his car while he waited in line at a McDonald’s window. This one’s an instant classic. Nothing like greeting some anxious fans with a pellet gun. The fact that this was the second time in two years he’d been arrested for brandishing a gun makes this even more worthwhile. Whats wrong Dwight? Did Micky D’s not super size you enough so you had to super size some fans with a pellet gun?
Dhani Jones 3/26/06. Charged with failure to obey a lawful command — a misdemeanor — after he allegedly refused to stop dancing outside a South Beach club. Hilarious. Its ok Dhani, we know that nothing can stop that boogie fever. I understand that since your linebacking skills are sub par, you have to express yourself through the form of dance. Sometimes you just have that fever and nothing, not even the police, should stop you from cutting the rug or in this case the sidewalk outside.
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I’m more then a little surprised you neglected to include Randy Moss’ little altercation between his Lexus and a Twin Cities traffic cop. If a guy can’t make the list for driving down the streets of Minneapolis with a uniformed officer on the hood of his car what is our world coming to?
Haha don’t think I forgot about it because I definitely remember that one. I figured the Moss incident was pretty well known so I left it off. Maybe it’ll make part two of this article.