Millions of kids want to be “like Mike” and with good reason. He’s a sports icon, one of the most marketed people in history, and after all these years, a swingin’ bachelor. But he’s no Allan Houston. Remember him? The sweet-shooting Knicks star who, two years after retiring, is still the 2nd highest paid player in the NBA. Houston sat on his ass and made $20.7 million. Beat that MJ.

Other hilarious entires on the report of NBA Salaries include Brian Grant, who retired in October and still made $17.3 million. An honorable mention goes to Jalen Rose, who made $16 million and was on the court for 246 minutes all season. Topping the list of the highest paid player is Kevin Garnett. Despite his years of bitching, it’s still hard to sympathize with a guy who made $21 million for the Timberwolves this season.

A look at the highest team payrolls leads to a familiar discussion. Once again, the Knicks got a terrible return on their investment. Their team payroll is $139 million, which leads the NBA by nearly $50 million. In Jalen Rose numbers, that’s more than 12 hours of basketball! The Knicks won 33, meaning they spent more than $4 million for each win. The 76ers and their $88 million payroll won 35 games this year.

Go ahead and take a look at the bottom of the team payroll list. These are teams that have built the right way. The Toronto Raptors’ payroll was a paltry $53 million and they won 47 games. Even more shocking, the Chicago Bulls’ payroll was also $53 million. All they’ve done is build the youngest core of talent in the NBA and swept the Miami Heat. Need a philosophy on running an NBA franchise? It’s all in the numbers.