Top ten lists are always fun, and so is hating Colin Cowherd. After the stunt he pulled on our friends over at The Big Lead we decided to piece together a top ten reasons to hate him. This shouldn’t be too hard and we expect most of you to agree with us. If you come back later today and our site is down, you’ll know the reason.
10. His voice is just annoying. Just listen to an entire show, it’s worse than Jim Rome and his non-stop silence.
9. He has a made for radio face. I’m not saying that I’m Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp, but I’ve certainly got a better mug than him. That is one face that needs to stay on the radio.
8. His damn producer. Can we please get that girl off the air? She never adds anything remotely useful to the show. In fact, she was the one that provided the link to Cowherd. Stop asking her for relationship advice on the air. Your wife Kim wants you to take out the trash. Just do it and shut up.
7. Cowherd’s time slot sucks for everyone not on the West Coast. Seriously, the 10-1 slot? Real glad they put you in peak hours. You’re not morning commute, you’re not afternoon commute. You suck. Everyone listens to Mike&Mike on the way to work, at least they make funny commercials.
6. He hates the WWE. I can understand taking pot shots at wrestling fans, it actually is easy, and while the generalizations are wrong, they work. But taking the death of someone, like Eddie Gurerro, and turning it into a bash session? That’s just shady.
5. He’s a pompous arrogant assclown. Look Colin, I understand that there are a lot of radio personalities that get away with being a bad person, but you can’t pull it off. All you do is demean people, so cut the crap and stop acting like you’re above everyone. ESPN employee? Yes. Blubbering jackass? Yes.
4. His new show, Missing Link, is pure ass. It finds two completely unconnected things and finds some common ground. Somehow, someway, Carl Lewis connects to Dale Earnhardt Jr. I’m connecting Colin Cowherd and the jackass at my local zoo. They both breath oxygen, they both reek of feces, and they’re both from the animal kingdom. That’s enough for me.
3. He insults the intelligence of his listeners by calling them “The Herd.” Congrats Colin, its a fantastic play on words, but what you’re really calling your listeners is incapable of forming opinions on their own. A herd is a group of animals under the control of a human, is that what you think of your listeners?
2. Oh that infamous Wonderlic incident. Really shows that you’re a stand up guy Colin. I always figured rule one of journalism (and academics in general) was to avoid plagarism. Guess they didn’t teach that at Dipshit U.
1. Taking down The Big Lead. That crosses a line Colin. You don’t mess with bloggers, in fact, you mess with Texas before you mess with bloggers. You just pissed off thousands of blogs and millions of readers. Have fun salvaging your reputation you asshole.