Sportable is always looking for guest columnists or bloggers? input. We welcome any submissions for guest articles and if we like them, we?ll post them on the site with a link to your blog. Free advertising! This guest article comes courtesy of Ted Bauer over at A Price Above Bip Roberts. It covers all sports and it’s definitely a good one. If you?d like to submit a guest article, send us an email.

The following article is written about Xavier Nady, a player whose jumped around the league the last few years. He’s incredibly talented but for some reason, only feels like playing during the month of April. Thanks for the article Ted.

“And when the game was tight, we always knew he’d come through,” wrote the seriously independent band Kuff and the Buttheads last summer, before continuing:

“… he’d make that pitcher take it… in the butt.”

True poetry, indeed; and written about a man that lyrical wordplay barely does justice to: Xavier Nady. You may know Nady for a variety of reasons: the Pac-10’s all-time leader in slugging percentage; part of the very rare group of “professional athletes whose first name begins with X” (Xavier McDaniel, anyone?); one of a handful of people to go straight into the majors without making a professional debut in the minors (albeit for only a game); part of the trade that sent Phil Nevin out of San Diego (in an effort to make more playing time for Nady); part of the trade that sent eventual NLCS Game 7 starter Oliver Perez into New York; or as a guy who once homered in four straight games.

In whatever context you’ve come to know and hopefully embrace Xavier Nady, here’s one that always rings true: he seems to start seasons in a fairly torrid fashion, ultimately becoming an afterthought. Last season, when he was shipped out in the Perez deal (ostensibly sent to baseball purgatory at PNC), he had 14 HR and 40 RBI in just 75 appearances - he was raining down on pitchers early that season.

Similarly, this year, the Pirates are off to a 2-0 start (book the World Series package now, Pittsburgh fans!) and both wins have essentially been provided entirely by Nady himself. On Opening Day, he became the latest in a long line of men who have taken a steel baseball bat to Brad Lidge’s manhood, self-esteem, and overall well-being, by hitting a game-tying home run off the Astros “closer” (for now). On Tuesday, he homered again, and also won the game with a single in the 8th. In a Pittsburgh baseball culture obsessed with the emergence of Jason Bay and the possible ramifications of Adam LaRoche in the lineup and clubhouse, it was the true X-Factor (you like how I did that, didn’t you?) who came to the team’s rescue in the early going.

Before this season gets too far along, Bay and LaRoche will probably emerge as more central storylines to the ultimate, horrific demise of the Pirates’ hopes and dreams (not to mention Ian Snell!). Xavier Nady, as befits his penchant for being wrapped in trading situations, might even not finish the season by the intersection of those three rivers no one ever gets right on sports trivia challenges. But if he does, and if he continues to put these Buccos on his back like this, might I suggest a few new lyrics for Kuff and the Buttheads follow-up single?

“Leyland’s in Detroit,
but we don’t care
We got a new hero, yea!
He’s right here.

Pac-Man, he can make it rain
The Pierogie Race, ’tis never a strain.
We got another title,
on the back of Jerome.
Then Big Ben rode his motorbike,
taking us into the poor home.

But things are different now, at PNC
Because of a man - just one man -
Xavier Nady!

A swing sweeter than the Splinter,
a gait faster than Brock
He’ll make that other pitcher
feel like he has no cock!

So rise up one,
rise up all,
salute the new face of Pirates baseball.
Gimme an X, heck no, gimme three!
Xavier’s nailing pitches like a good old fashioned porn, see?”