For the entire month of March, the Sportable Staff will look at one Major League Baseball team a day. We’ll look at their lineups and pitching and in the end, assess their playoff chances. Previews will be done by division, starting with the American League East. Each new division will also feature a new podcast devoted entirely to that division.

Pirates Looking to Earn NL Central Booty: With my first terrible pun out of the way, I can now focus on the probable last place team in the NL Central, the Pittsburgh Pirates. They’ve added a red alternate to their rotation but in terms of talent, they’re very similar to the 95 loss teams from the past two years. For their sake, they may have to hope that Davy Jones’ Locker is full of steroids and HGH. They’ll need it. The Pirates will unveil a new red alternate uniform to be worn on Sundays and holidays. Whether or not they transform into the Cardinals when they put them on is a different story.

Bats
From top to bottom, the Pirates’ lineup is pretty passable. It’s not awful but it sure as hell can’t stack up with the other sluggers in their division. Chris Duffy, no relation to Duffy Waldorf, showed flashes of being a very nice lead-off guy for the Bucs, stealing 26 bases in just 84 games. He’s white and scrappy so Pirates fans may reminisce of Andy Van Slyke, dubbed the “Great White Hope” by Mr. Barry Bonds. Duffy is flanked by talented outfielders Jason Bay and Xavier Nady. Bay has put together a few great seasons in Pittsburgh. He was swapped for Brian Giles in 2003 and has since gone on to make all San Diego fans angry over the move. Nady is another former Padre farmhand that didn’t quite pan out. He’s battled inconsistency his entire career but still hit .280 with 17 homers. He also may have Crohn’s Disease, which means he could play a crappy right field. Literally. The middle infield should be steady, albeit unimpressive. Jack Wilson enters his 32nd season with the Pirates and for the most part, he’s played the role of ugly bastard with a steady glove. I’ve never liked Jack Wilson and I probably never will. But I like their corner infielders. Freddie Sanchez, the most unknown batting champion in history, returns to the hot corner after hitting .344 in 2006. The Pirates made a nice pickup in 1st baseman Adam LaRoche, whose coming off his best season in the bigs. He hit 32 jacks with a .285 batting average. It’s good to see him get out of Atlanta because I always got LaRoche confused with the other Braves’ white guys, Jeff Francoeur and Ryan Langerhans. The catching duo of Ronnie Paulino and Hector Luna is hardly worth mentioning. I won’t go into any more detail about them.

Arms
The Buccos’ staff is led by lefty Zach Duke, who is entering his 3rd season in the Bigs. Duke built on his 8-2, 1.81 ERA by going 10-15 with an ERA of 4.47. Not exactly the best sophomore season but Duke is still a major talent. If I’m Pirates’ manager Jim Tracy, I do a couple things. One, I get plastic surgery on my chin so Pittsburgh fans start liking me. The other thing I would do is schedule Duke to pitch against the Cubs whenever possible. Of Duke’s 18 career wins, four are against the Cubs. He’s compiled an ERA of 1.40 when facing them. But Duke can’t seem to figure out the Astros or Dodgers. Go figure. Duke is followed by equally decent pitchers Ian Snell and Paul Maholm. Both are young and both have some nice upside. Another guy to watch is Tom Gorzelanny. He had a 3.79 ERA in 11 starts last year. Judging by his name, he also controlled the “waste management” business of the Pittsburgh metropolitan area. I’m not as fond of the Pirates’ bullpen. Longtime set-up guy Solomon Torres will take over the closer’s role and you never quite know how a noob closer will respond. The Pirates have dependable guys in Damaso Marte, Matt Capps, and John Grabow. But they’ll be without the services of veteran Mike Gonzalez, who they lost in the deal with Atlanta. They also lost veteran Roberto Hernandez to Cleveland. Losing two veterans like that leaves this bullpen without a leader. Maybe they should call up a stud from the early 1990s. Here’s 11 they can choose from.

Prediction
The Pirates really don’t look bad on paper. There’s no real horrific flaw on this team. But there’s no real strength either. I think Pittsburgh is due for improvement this year. That should put them in the range of 70-75 wins. But they play in a very tough division and I don’t see anything other than a 6th place finish from them.