I didn’t want to to write about brothers who love getting naked and creeping out their teammates. But this story has gained a lot of momentum. So I should probably address it. You’d think a team full of veterans would keep their urine in the bathroom and naked, shaved, tanned asses out of the coach’s office. But that’s not the case at Petco Park, where the Padres have some very interesting, perverted characters on their roster.

“I’d be in (former manager Bruce) Bochy’s office having a serious meeting and Brian would come in there fully naked, showing his batting stance,” the GM, Kevin Towers, says. “He’s normal except for the tanning booths, shaving his body and walking around with no clothes. One Giles is enough. I’m not sure if I can handle two of them.”

Then why the hell did you sign him Towers? Trading Josh Barfield was a bit questionable to begin with. He was young, he had a great glove and clutch bat, and for the most part, he stayed dressed. Marcus Giles isn’t much different though. Except for the fact that he shaves his entire body in the shower with his brother Brian, just to piss off pitcher Chris Young. Here’s what other members of the clubhouse have to say about these two.

?”They’re funny lookin’ anyway,” Padres starter Greg Maddux says, “so they’re even funnier when they say something.”

“That’s a sick boy, right there,” Padres center fielder Mike Cameron says, shaking his head. “The stuff he does around here, you can’t even get in your newspaper. And now there’s two of them.”

“You get nervous when you see those guys come into the shower,” says Young, a Princeton graduate. “Let’s put it this way: You definitely don’t close your eyes in there, even when you’re shampooing.”

It’s going to be an interesting season. We found out Greg Maddux is a bit of a closet nutjob. But compared to Brian and Marcus Giles, Maddux might be pretty damn normal. Some people would like to be a fly on the wall in certain places. If I was a fly in San Diego’s locker room, I’d probably find the nearest ceiling fan.