Kenny Rogers is up to his old tricks again. No not that Kenny Rogers, I am talking about the other Kenny Rogers, starting pitcher for the Detroit Tigers. Everyone remembers his famous tussle with the camera man in Texas last year. In an apparent attempt to one up this action he reportedly grabbed an autograph seeking fan by the collar. The only way this story could be any better is if the autograph seeker was a child. Fortunately (or unfortunately if you are in it for the comedy) witnesses contend that no physical contact ever took place and these charges will most likely be dropped. But it is moments like this that always make me reminisce to other such moronic actions by baseball players. A few personal favorites:
Ruben Rivera: Probably best known for his base running prowess, or lack of to be more correct. A story that always gets thrown under the radar, his knack for swiping teammates stuff. This had to have created an incredible level of trust in that Yankees Clubhouse, after all who wouldn’t want to have a locker next to the kleptomaniac.
Kevin Brown: If you ever wanted to find a nut job it did not take looking much further than Kevin Brown. His destruction of a toilet remains one of the best cases for anger management in human history. Even in retirement, he continues to bless us with his stupidity. The lesson we learn here is that being neighbors with Kevin Brown means you have a good chance of winding up dead or in the hospital.
Runelvys Hernandez: Here is a great story. After getting a strikeout to escape a jam, the Royals pitcher and his catcher John Buck start brawling in the dugout. Great idea guys. “Hey I just managed to strike out a guy. Now I have a great idea, ill start a brawl with John Buck.” Maybe I am the only one who does not see the connection between the two. There is no doubt, however, that the tension in that locker room could have been cut with a knife.
David Wells: Leave it to Boomer to get hammered and brawl with guys half his size. This had to be a yearly occurrence for Wells who always finds a way to get into the news. Usually for alcohol.
Ugueth Urbina: This may be the most idiotic of all. Urbina is currently being held in jail for allegedly assaulting hired workers with flame and machetes. That is right, Urbina decided it might be a good idea to try to light his workers on fire and then shank them with machetes. Why? Oh because they were stealing things from his home. Urbina did a number of things wrong here. First and foremost he shanked some of his workers: that would qualify as attempted murder, as would the lighting the on fire. For those counting at home, that is two bad ideas in a row. Throw in the fact that he expects to get justice in a country as corrupt as Venezuela and Ugueth succeeds in striking himself out. Urbina proves that stupidity knows no bounds.